This is a prayer shared by Father Pat Fitzpatrick C.S.Sp in his homily on 30 October 2018 at Daily TV Mass.

Before anyone can move forward from injustice, injury, failure, loss, rejection; acceptance is needed.

Finding it difficult to accept things? Reflect and pray this.

OPENING HANDS

I see, Lord, in my tight hands the representation of my self.

I held on to myself, my cares, my possessions, my pride.

I shut you out, lest, you will change me.

And I shut other people, lest, they know me and maybe hurt me.

 

With closed fist I could strike – out against those who threaten me.

But, I see in the tight knuckles and tensed forearms what is this doing to me.

I’m opt tight, tense, lonely and I’m probably destroying myself.

And so I slowly open my hands and release myself to You, Lord.

 

Take me as I am, my guilt, my burdens, my cares, my emptiness and maybe my loneliness.

With open hands and out-stretched arms, my arms no longer hurt.

My knuckles are no longer tight.

 

Thank you, Lord, for release, for peace, for freedom.

With open hands, I no longer shut You out or strike – out against others.

Open hands are for helping. Fill them with Your love, O God.

Show them what to do, how to give, how to serve.

 

And now, I’m aware of the hurts and needs of others.

I placed them in these hands.

I gather them into my hands.

And I lift them to You, for Your sustaining grace and healing touch.

 

No longer alone, I reached out to grasp the hands of brothers or sisters.

I thank You Lord for him and for her.

Shape us together sister, brother, everyone.

Shape us together into the body of Christ.

Amen.

 

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Today’s first reading (Ephesians 5:21-23) reminded me on one of the roles of a wife, that is to submit to her husband.
While I can only guess for the role of a wife, because of this God’s design, a woman who desires to be married and raise a family should learn the holy role of submission to the headship of a man.

However, while some women are still learning, please bear with her, Bro.

There are some women who openly expressed their thoughts not to disrespect neither to challenge, nor to show who is mightier and wiser, but, it is has been only in their ways for so long to express and take part in whatever course of action that will be taken.

Although, I don’t know exactly when they are going to perfect the role of submission, but I am sure the wife has to make it happen and she can make it happen.

And while she makes it happen, please bear with her, Bro.

Ridicule and wrong assumption that she is hard to bear is the least and last thing that a work-in-progress sister (woman/wife) wants to hear. With all her pure intentions to be helpmate and for the greater good of the church or the community in her mind are the reasons why she is expressing and is braving the risk to be tagged as a “difficult woman”.

It is so painful to be told that you are difficult woman when the only thing in your mind is to be a helpmate.

I believe it will not come naturally for a woman who has been shaped in all her life to express and decide for herself to place herself under someone’s headship. I believe a greater power is needed. A greater power from the Lord and from the man that she is submitting herself to that will make her able to submit well.

And while she learns, please bear with her, Bro.

Thank you for reading.

God bless.
——

Dear Father God,

We surrender our desire to You.
Please bless all the women You have created after Your wisdom and ways. Please touch their hearts to be helpmates. Please send to them men to their lives who will help them to fulfill this holy role as a submitting wives / sisters / women.

Amen.

______

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As someone who has been praying for a lifetime partner, I have experienced occasions of scam in the past and knowing friends who experienced the same.

Sadly, but, in the real world there are people who take advantage insincerely and ruthlessly evil of that holy desire of finding a spouse and raising a family. Most of the time, since they are left unidentified, they continue to hurt the lives of single and looking people not only emotionally but more often, financially.

I personally see scammers as cruel people. Since they don’t personally see the effects of what they have done to their victims, they can ignore outrightly the small voice of conscience in their spirits.

Quite scary for pure intention of loving and be loved by someone who loves you and loves you in return. But, like any other quests in our lives, there are dangers hiding along the way to victory.

The objective of this blog is not to add more “cheese” to that search but open our eyes and minds to the reality of the world where the future spouse also lives.

Here are few signs of this kind of scam:

1. He falls in love with you head over heels in no time.

I came to get in contact with a scammer through a Catholic dating site. He was quick in writing love letters that can sweep off my feet every night and can even quote of bible verses in professing his (scam) love for me.

2. His questioning or kind of getting to know you-ways are more of into interrogation of your financial capabilities.
Few of those questions are towards to:
A. Job position
B. Your travels
C. Your closeness with your family and friends

That person who was a scam kept on telling me that I don’t share with friends about my communication with him for his reason was that girl friends may get “jealous” of what we have. However, at that time, I was already actively serving and part of the Catholic Church community for singles and I trusted my prayer group leader so well that I shared with her even the first time that this person called me. So, by the time that this person was asking me for money, my prayer group leader had her suspicions confirmed.

3. I have experienced scam in two occasions and for both occasions, the perpetrators always fall into sickness.

Any lady who is blinded by his “unproven” love will be overpowered by her emotion to help financially even unreasonably.

4. Their love is conditional.

I have a friend who did not know that her helper was communicating with someone from the internet and she only got to know it when the helper frantically cried. The helper was told by her “lover” that he will send their engagement ring after the helper sends the money for the finishing touches of the house he was building for them and was provided with a link where the helper can track where the engagement ring is.

What was horrifying that the minute the helper completed the online and quick remittance, the link was gone.

5. His/ her details are not specific.

I told a friend who then has already started engaging online with a man who sent her a message through the Catholic dating site where my friend joined, to ask this man to provide her the company name and the reception number where this man works and that my friend will call that reception number to reach him. My friend was able to reach him which gave her a confidence to carry on the online conversation.

Though, my examples are experiences gained in the online dating world, these guides can also be applied in the face-to-face meet ups or dating.

As proven best practice, although, we may be dependent and mature by our own assessment, as searching singles, it is still best to include our parents or family members and a trusted friend in every step that we do in finding the lifetime partner.

As waiting and looking individuals, let us be like as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. For surely, whoever has the pure intention with seeking heart for the right guidance, the Lord will lead.
——-
Prayers
It is in my prayers to whoever is reading this and is sincerely praying for a spouse that he/she finds him/ today without going through the harm caused by scams. Amen.

——-
For women who have additional tips which can help women in their online search, please comment below.

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A sister asked me about discernment. I thought instead of writing a “Dear Sis B” to her about discernment, I will post another journal entry.

I wrote this entry when all doors that I attempted to open seem to closing on me.

After writing this, there was a clear direction to be still and regard that season to be where the Lord wants me to be in.

————-

Dear Father GOD,

Father God, my heart is restless. But, I wish to follow what WSQ had told me about career path. Lord, please light the path that I should be going.

I attended the Mass yesterday. I heard the priest said,

“Love God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and do as you please.” This is by St Augustine.

I need to bring this heart to You first and I can do anything as what my heart pleases.
Lord, I pray that I will just have a happy and fulfilling time with family next week. Please help us to bond together with unity and love.
I pray, Lord for my siblings and their children. I pray for my dream of writing to be fulfilled.
I’m praying for my future spouse. I just like to recognize the kind of heart you have gifted me with, a heart that just don’t know to stop to hope. Is this for real, Lord? Lol. I’m just kidding.

Father God, I know You know better than I do. Please speak to my heart if I’m going the wrong way.
Please build me an empire. I don’t know exactly what that means but please help me create jobs so more families can bring food to the table and they can be evangelized.
I would like to name the gifts you have given me at this time:
1. My work
2. My health
3. My free time/ my rest days
4. My family and family time
5. My friends
You are good, Lord, thank you.

Love and Trusting,
Benia

-End of entry

——–

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Love and Beauty,

B.

 

The other day I published a blog about Pia.

What’s With Pía? #exesbaggage (Girl, Don’t Give Your Pearls Away)

IF YOU LIKE IT

Today, it’s time for her one of her lovers. Nix is the male lead character of the movie, Exes Baggage. Pia has 7 ex-boyfriends before Nix came to her life. While, Pia walked into Nix’s life after his girlfriend, Dwein.

What I like about Nix is … actually… I can’t think of anything aside from he can drive car well. (There were a lot of scenes that showed he was driving. Lol)

OK. Here is the serious part.

Nix is a guy I would not like for a caring and loving Pia, specially, at that point of his life when he met Pia. I really think Pia was right to believe that he is not yet completely over with his ex – girlfriend, Dwein. Unlike, Pia , whose reason of believing that Nix is still not over with Dwein is because of his seemingly intentionally delaying the project so he can get to hang-around Dwein’s presence. My reason of believing that Nix is not yet over with Dwein is he has not done yet anything to prove his sincere love for Pia. Him introducing Pia to his mom is not enough to convince me of this. (I know someone who has a cousin who brings different girl every family yearly reunion. She has been wanting to tell every girl that he brought “Hey, you are not the first one. We see different girl every year.”, to dispel any idea of the lady guest that something serious is going – on between her and her cousin. )

Nix did not even try to win her back. Something is holding him back when he seems to be liking the set – up of their togetherness?

I am with Pia when he left Nix. “You go, girl. Get his act together.”

Hello, Nix! If you truly love the girl, then, you should have put a ring on it.

 

 

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(Leading Prayer Group Meetings)

It was at that time when I said “Yes” to be a group prayer head in a Catholic charismatic community for singles. This Catholic charismatic community has small units of prayer group. This prayer group is called “Household” which is normally consists of 4-5 single ladies, so, that makes me a Household head.
Being friends mainly with girls is something very familiar for me, as growing up and during teen years, I was part of all girls big group of friends. During my first years as a young professional, I still was part of all ladies group in the company where I worked. We regularly went to night – outs wearing our Tok-Toks (our own secret code for high – heeled shoes because of the sound that it makes when we walk with it on). Basically, what I am saying here, I know generally how girls operate, unite, celebrate, love and fight together ever since I was young. Girl power, how ancient the concept may it sound, has always been in me… until I joined the Catholic community for singles .

As I write this, I can’t help but be filled once again with gratitude. This is the posture of my heart each time I get to remember my first few days as an S-F-C, of becoming, that is, Someone for Christ.

Heading the Household prayer group for sisters is also like leading a girl power group in fun and activities except that with this task, I am leading them to Christ and not to the “domination” (lol) of the world. Leading them to Christ means making myself available for them without any cost. Unlike the girl power friendship, this task required me sacrifices. So, I later replaced the term “task” to “service” and me not a “leader” but a “mother”, as I always associate sacrifices to motherhood.

During my first year as a Household head, I was faced with struggles to prepare the discussion topics, my parents’ house and foods.

The difficulty on preparing the discussion topic was not so much because my default topic was the scripture reading for the day, compared to preparing and clearing the food to be served. The latter task was more daunting for me. Food preparation required me time and other resources.

Burdened I may seemed with the differences of building friendship with new sisters (new members) in the community, however, just like in my all-girls friendship, I find joy and love whenever I am with them during household prayer meetings.

All my efforts are somewhat reciprocated specially whenever there was a well-attended household prayer meeting. But I enjoyed, too, even only a member shows up. It is a chance for a heart – to – heart talk.

So, after each and every prayer meeting when all the members are gone and I am left alone washing used glasses, plates, spoons and forks, clearing the table and floors. There in that last task that I find silence without the rush, but, a happy silence with the Lord. It is in this moment that my mind starts to process what just transpired in the prayer meeting. It is in this moment that I realize the Lord is making everything possible. It is in this moment that I say, “Thank You, Lord. Mission accomplished.” It is in this act of washing the dishes, clearing the table and rubbish bin that I find most fulfilling of becoming a head.

Matthew 20:16
So the last will be first, and the first will be last.


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Pia is the lead character in the movie “Exes Baggage”. Although successful in career, her romantic relationships are not despite her seemingly unending sacrifices.

There is something wrong with Pía. She needs a saviour who can save her from her own destructive thoughts about herself.

Pia has to be told of who she really is.

Pia has in her mind that she is used to her lovers leaving her and for her that seems OK. Pia has in her mind that she is workaholic as if that is a curse. Pia has in her mind that she is a drunkard. (While as I remembered, only in two scenes that I have seen her drunk.)

Pia does not recognise that she is a good person as to how the movie presented of how she relates to her workmates and family. She ignores the fact that she is a hardworking and just person who honors family and commitment as there were few incidences in the movie that shows that she is. She does not put in her mind that is loving, caring and trustworthy.

All these great facts about herself, she does not stick to her mind. But she seemingly would rather put in her mind that men leave her and spend her time and stay with men who would make her girlfriend. Like everything is just casual.

What’s with Pía is she looks herself without her good traits. She seems to be oblivious of those.

I do not believe that it is heartbreak that causes us to forget who we really are. It is the lack of courage to reflect and stay quiet with our lonesome broken heart to be reminded, to recognise of our true identity as a person. I believe once a girl sees her true identity that she can command respect from others, that she can present her dignity to others and that she can wisely choose who to spend time with or to who she can share her body with, with value, dignity and sacredness.

Just a plain thought, “I am an honest and reasonable person so I deserve someone who will treat me rightly.”

So Pía, don’t give away your pearls to any man who will not value it. This translates to Pía, don’t give away your time, heart, body and life to someone who will not honor those, your pearls.

Thank you for reading.

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