Chronicles of Benia

STORIES.REFLECTIONS.PRAYERS

This morning I woke up with a message from my immediate boss sharing the message from our global Environment, Health and Safety advisory that staff who spent a vacation in China during the Lunar New Year are advised to work from home and be cleared form any symptoms of flu before returning physically to the office. The other day, I went to a drugstore and found no stock of facial surgical masks.
Yesterday earlier morning, I woke up with a message from a friend a that Kobe Bryant and his daughter are confirmed dead from a helicopter crash. Was that for real?
The other week, the prince I have been following since the day his parents got wed and during the ancient days when internet has not yet been discovered, left his royal title and announced to the whole wide platform of Instagram that he and his wife are pursuing to be “financial independent”. Prince renouncing title?
The other week, I woke out from a nap with a message from my sister back home relaying that the volcano where we go to frequently, every time I am in my parents’ house, spew heavy smokes and that 72 flights were cancelled on that day.
It’s still January and life has already thrown biggest situations the universe can ever experience. I don’t know what to say, or, I will just borrow the words of an author of an acclaimed short story,

“Stop the universe. I want to get off.”

Life is running so fast and I am not getting well with its ride. In the midst of fear, I realized twenty things from all four big events happened in the recent days:

1. Heroes are born during the odd times. We love heroes and so we must welcome challenging times.
2. Life is short. Spend it excellently.

3. Life is fragile. Let it be under one higher and mightier power.
4. There is a holy and sacred reason why wild animals are not part of the mainstream life. So, let them be far and welcome the diversity.
5. Not all adorable, tall and athletic men like to be prince. One wishes to be a commoner.
6. Legends are never made overnight. It takes 20 years or so and a whole dose of hardwork and perseverance.
7. Travel insurance is worth buying regardless how long the travel is. Period.
8. Mask is a must. Keep always a box.
9. Blessed are the fathers who can hold their child’s hand up to the last breathing moments of their child’s life.
10. Blessed are those who left earth while wearing shoes of a supportive and guiding parent.
11. Blessed are those who experienced ashfall and continue to rise from the ashes.
12. Blessed are the people who looked and cared after victims while they are also at high risk.
13. Blessed are the people who spent their wisdom and skills to protect the people.
14. Blessed are the courageous for courage is infectious.
15. Legends are those who never committed failures, but those who accepts their mistakes and change their ways.
16.  One of the biggest legacies that can be passed-on on to child is neither money not power. Neither, fame nor influence, but the ability to smile during trying times.
17. Blessed are the passionate for they shall bring glory to God.
18. I have been writing this write up since January 28th . It’s already first of February and I still am stuck at number 17. I guess sometimes life is like that you thought for 20 but you only have until 17 and that it is completely OK.
19. Virus does not discriminate and so should the possible carriers.
20. Look – out  for each other. After all, we need one another to survive.

01/02/2020

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I still think about him. He didn’t leave my mind since last Wednesday, the last time I saw him.

Woody, as we all know, is the cowboy rag doll and the leader of the toys in the movie “Toy Story”. He constantly saves his kid from any misfortune and time has come that his main purpose evolved to saving his fellow toys from getting lost.

Almost quarter of a century after I first saw Toy Story, now with wrinkles and a full pledge adult, I came to understand why Woody’s life is my own, too.

Toys come alive whenever their kid plays with them, holds them, spends their lives with them. It is how they are seen that brings life and purpose to them.

Isn’t it the same to me all throughout the 25 years of my life?

I got in the university after I was seen worthy of a full scholarship. I held and quitted jobs because of how I had been seen. I went to romantic dinner invites and the question that always came to mind, “Does this person see me?” I created relationships and celebrated those because they have seen me. I lost relationships and never dared to look-back because of how I was seen – not worthy of their time, not worthy of their fight and risk, not worthy of their best effort. Because I know, I am. I worth it.

But why do we strive to be seen by our value? Now, I have an answer.

When we are seen by our value, our flaws can be readily overlooked.

No one is perfect and in any given point of weak times, we can fail and commit mistakes, but, if our value is seen, we are understood. When we are understood, we are valued. Just like a century old jar crafted by a well-known artist, the value outshines the scratches and chips. It still is worthy of a high price. Its value is rooted on its maker.

We all strive, we all long, we all hope and pray to be seen by our value. Because we are created with a value. And every finite detail of our being speaks of how we are gloriously created.

I still think about him. He didn’t leave my mind since last Wednesday, the last time I saw him. Because, finally, I have understood the value of being seen.
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May you be seen by your value. May you never forget your value. Because you are valuable. Because you are bought with a price. Because you are worth it. Because you are crafted, shaped and seen after the image and likeness of the great Creator.

#SecondChances

19/07/2019

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Having heard a feedback about this blogsite last year, I was determined to write a piece of writing worth – sharing, worthy for everyone to expose their names that they are reading, worthy of hitting the star – button, worthy of praising- comments. But, having that in mind, I found myself always hitting the “backspace” key. Instead of writing, I found myself unwriting. Thinking and paralysed, I opened all my previous journals in the hope of getting the inspiration and break the sorcery I have spelled unto myself. But none of my misery-filled journal entries suffice my objective. I felt so drained. My browsing through all my handwritten entries was a futile attempt to get what I wanted, I thought.

Inspecting all my entries from 2009 to 2016, only alerted me of one common line that I kept writing through those years, “May I be able to please You, Lord.” or “Please help me to please You.”

That journaling is the reason why I have this blogsite and those journal entries have repeatedly declared that my heart desires to please the Lord. This reveals to whom, to how and to why I am writing and responding to this frequent waking up at every 2am… To write to please the Lord for He is my supreme audience.

For to please Him is to be inspired, to be ordinary and great and to impress all other eyes is to be filled with discontentment, to be proud and unheard.

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Dear Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, my God and my Judge. Amen.

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Who are you trying to impress today? Please like and comment should you find this story relatable. Thank you!

God bless!

09/02/2019

I drew – out another annual goals for this year of 2019. Writing is easy but thinking and choosing the priorities are the hardest.

Through the years, I have learned that the bottle neck of all my dreams is not about other persons but me, myself and I.

An essential amount of maturity led met to realize that dreams and fulfillment are all about me, myself and I. The rest will be just secondary to the me, myself and I.

I have learned trough the years that I have to avoid the feeling of frustrations because the moment that feeling sets in, I loose hope to carry – on. I have learned that as a person I can bear sadness, loneliness and aloneness but the fire to continue to work on whatever kind of endeavor that I am acting on is put – off once the feeling of frustration knocks and stays.
With that knowledge in mind, I need to avoid the feeling of frustration.

Avoiding and Recovering from Feeling of Frustrations Led Me to Self-Awareness

As explored that discovery about myself, I was led to train myself to be aware of things that make me feel frustrated. I have two ways to win over the feeling frustration, first is to avoid (when the frustration is knocking) and second is to recover (kicking – out the feeling of frustration out of the system).

I am no great achiever, but I tried to execute these two ways through prayer time, my quiet

time with the Lord, every. single. day.
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Prayer Time Is Building Your Relationship With the Lord

When I joined Singles for Christ, a Catholic charismatic community, in 2001, I was thought to pray from the heart. In no time, I fell in love with the Lord. I started talking to Him quietly by spending few minutes every start of the day. I was told by my Catholic renewal leaders that prayer is a communication and is a dialogue. Since this is a dialogue, I should not be alone talking here. Otherwise, this will be called a monologue. This was where reading the daily gospel came to the picture.

That silent moment from the world but actively in tune with God is the avenue to express my being without limitations and hear His Word for me.

I can be me and He can be God. What was most beautiful is that even though I can be me truly me, He never has given me bad words about me, myself and I. Not even a single, short word.

I guess that’s the first thing that made me build and continue the silent time with God, He accepts me.

“I must be wonderful to be accepted by this God.”

Eighteen years after the day I fell in love with prayer time, I still get teary – eyed to believe and feel that, “I must be wonderful to be accepted by this God.”

Believing my own kind of wonder, I was led to discover about me, appreciate about me. This me I realized has weakness and strength and as years progress (Thank God), age comes to play with my beautiful complexities.

When in the first place I wanted only to build a relationship with Him, God introduced me to a person special to His eyes. He reveals to me that He got the thrill of His Lordship when His created this person – Me.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. There was evening and there was morning: the sixth day.”
Genesis 1:31

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To be continued…. (Knowing Me Means Being Compassionate to Others)

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Thank you and God bless,

With Love and Beauty,

B

06/01/2019

It’s already December 01, here in my place (Tampines) and I just wanted to greet all you with a Happy December 2018!

I hardly have time to write these days but this morning while praying, I realised I have ticked – off one of my goals for this year, that’s – to publish a blogsite.

Thank you all for your kindness and generosity of your likes and follows. I just want to thank you in a way I feel would be personal so I took a video of the Orchard Road this 0030H. Walking along Orchard Road during rest day is favourite get – away.

Here is me who just woke up, without filter, without make up. God bless and please comment, if you have time.

01/12/2018

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