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Having heard a feedback about this blogsite last year, I was determined to write a piece of writing worth – sharing, worthy for everyone to expose their names that they are reading, worthy of hitting the star – button, worthy of praising- comments. But, having that in mind, I found myself always hitting the “backspace” key. Instead of writing, I found myself unwriting. Thinking and paralysed, I opened all my previous journals in the hope of getting the inspiration and break the sorcery I have spelled unto myself. But none of my misery-filled journal entries suffice my objective. I felt so drained. My browsing through all my handwritten entries was a futile attempt to get what I wanted, I thought.

Inspecting all my entries from 2009 to 2016, only alerted me of one common line that I kept writing through those years, “May I be able to please You, Lord.” or “Please help me to please You.”

That journaling is the reason why I have this blogsite and those journal entries have repeatedly declared that my heart desires to please the Lord. This reveals to whom, to how and to why I am writing and responding to this frequent waking up at every 2am… To write to please the Lord for He is my supreme audience.

For to please Him is to be inspired, to be ordinary and great and to impress all other eyes is to be filled with discontentment, to be proud and unheard.

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Dear Lord, may the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be pleasing to You, my God and my Judge. Amen.

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Who are you trying to impress today? Please like and comment should you find this story relatable. Thank you!

God bless!

Trust that the Lord hears all our prayers. He answers those with the best of His love.

For this new year, may you find His wisdom to His answers to your prayers.

Sharing a prayer.

Prayer for Wisdom

I ask God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn to obey.

I ask for health that I might do great things,
I was given infirmities that I might do better things.

I ask riches that I might be happy, I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I ask for power that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness that I might feel the need for God.

I ask for all things that I might enjoy life, I was given life that I might enjoy things.

Amen.

I mapped – out a 5-year plan for my life yesterday morning. Yes, I dared to plan my life for the next 5 years, carefully incorporating what I have learned in my Project Management program and after saying prayers for a year for guidance for a new mission. No, please don’t be under the impression that I have achieved everything that I have planned for last years. Sometimes, I feel that I am only good at life’s planning but execution is a class where I’m still a student and unceasingly trying my best not to remain a student.

Mapping – Out

I wrote Psalm 23 at the top of it as it was my guiding verse since the time I felt the Lord is preparing for something. Psalm 23 is about the Good Shepherd. I did not forget the set of values as a guiding ruler as wild planning can happen and drives a planner to desire the world but losing the self in the process.

As this is my first time to draw – out a five- year plan, I had to set the bigger picture but at the end asking myself what is the bigger picture. I felt it was the height of adulting calling for a mixture of fear and excitement. One thing I realized though, that as I plan through the years, fear is increasingly knocking at my heart harder each year. I truly used to be a dare-devil in my planning in earlier years, as early as university days, where I enjoyed bigtime whenever I ticked what I have accomplished. But through the years, I have found myself fearing my own blames whenever I didn’t get to do what I have planned to do.

The Fearless of Youth That I Needed
(The Lord Provided)

During the evening, I attended the first Liveloud Concert in Singapore. Liveloud is a Catholic Worship Band that has been singing the songs of the Charismatic community I belong to for the last 17 years. In one segment, the sign of Chi Rho was flashed. The lead worshipper explained that this is the secret code of the earlier Christians to tell fellow Christians that they are home and they have arrived in a refuge, as earlier Christians were persecuted. That sign is very familiar to me. (Not that I lived 2000 years ago. Lol. ) The sign of Chi Rho is the “rod” I saw from Bishops and the Pope, the Shepherds for the Catholic faith. The Good Shepherd is Psalm 23, the verse I wrote on my five year – plan earlier that day. Is it just a coincidence? Maybe, not. The moment Chi Rho sign was flashed, it occurred to me as “No Prisoner”. That thought reverberated in my mind while we continued to worship. “No Prisoner”.

When I got home, it dawn on me, that for “No Prisoner” to happen there is freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from the yoke of slavery that burdened a prisoner.

Is this sign speaking to my plan?
Have I been drawing out a plan which based on fear?
Then, let there be freedom! Call the deliverer, Christ the King.

This morning I took that as a sign to declare and plan out what I really want to happen in my life – 5 years down the road of life. Let there be no fear to work on my desires which Christ, the Lord God has placed in my heart, today on this Feast of Christ the King, the Deliverer.

As I put out a new plan and pasted on my wall. I, too, signed it with Chi Rho. No prisoner.

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Thank you. Continue to be blessed.

Today’s first reading (Ephesians 5:21-23) reminded me on one of the roles of a wife, that is to submit to her husband.
While I can only guess for the role of a wife, because of this God’s design, a woman who desires to be married and raise a family should learn the holy role of submission to the headship of a man.

However, while some women are still learning, please bear with her, Bro.

There are some women who openly expressed their thoughts not to disrespect neither to challenge, nor to show who is mightier and wiser, but, it is has been only in their ways for so long to express and take part in whatever course of action that will be taken.

Although, I don’t know exactly when they are going to perfect the role of submission, but I am sure the wife has to make it happen and she can make it happen.

And while she makes it happen, please bear with her, Bro.

Ridicule and wrong assumption that she is hard to bear is the least and last thing that a work-in-progress sister (woman/wife) wants to hear. With all her pure intentions to be helpmate and for the greater good of the church or the community in her mind are the reasons why she is expressing and is braving the risk to be tagged as a “difficult woman”.

It is so painful to be told that you are difficult woman when the only thing in your mind is to be a helpmate.

I believe it will not come naturally for a woman who has been shaped in all her life to express and decide for herself to place herself under someone’s headship. I believe a greater power is needed. A greater power from the Lord and from the man that she is submitting herself to that will make her able to submit well.

And while she learns, please bear with her, Bro.

Thank you for reading.

God bless.
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Dear Father God,

We surrender our desire to You.
Please bless all the women You have created after Your wisdom and ways. Please touch their hearts to be helpmates. Please send to them men to their lives who will help them to fulfill this holy role as a submitting wives / sisters / women.

Amen.

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