If You Want to Have A Man Like Joseph, Have Faith Like Mary (Learning to Trust Again)

Photo Credit: The Nativity Story of Jesus Christ

The other night while I stared at the image of nativity of Jesus Christ, my mind got lost on the smile of Mother Mary. It was not a LOL-LOL-LOL-smile neither a friendly smile for me. It was a smile more than of confidence. There is something in Mary’s smile and it must be because, while Mary smiles she was looking at Joseph, her husband and the foster father of Jesus. While she smiles at Joseph, Joseph’s head slightly bowed down.
My mind got so lost that I felt something warm rolling down on my cheeks.

I finally figured out what is Mary’s smile about and Mary has on her face is the smile of trust.
___
When Trust Is Lost

The truth is one the deepest wounds of heartbreak is losing trust to oneself. Sometimes, it is easier to forgive people who have caused the pain. Sometimes, accepting the heartbreak that happened but the nagging feeling of losing the trust remains there or it seems it’s already embedded in the heart. And that situation is the hardest part to bear after every single heartbreak.

Losing trust is allowing fear to take in control. Fear that you might get heartbroken again. Fear that you might say the wrong things again that it will lead to a premature closure or as the goes song “afraid for love to fade before it can come true.” and a long list of fears.

Most of the time, the reason why someone can get to be so protective of oneself is lack of trust. I know someone so completely who intentionally drives both interested and interesting men away by showing her worst self on an onset of courtship out of complete fear – – fear of getting heartbroken again.

That’s how fear operates in our lives. It creates illogical and hurtful behaviours in our pattern. Then, if fear is the root

reason, faith is the answer.

—–
This goes to say that if we have faith, faith in our Lord Jesus Christ that He hears our prayers and that He knows our heart’s desires and that He wants the best for us, we can act in faith, decide in faith, love in faith and open our hearts to love and be courageous again in faith.

To learn to trust again is to have faith both in the Lord and to oneself.

Mary and Joseph

As my mind got lost on the smile of Mary, I remember the words of angel to Mary during the annunciation. It translated to me “Do not fear. The Lord is with you. He loves you and He will guide you and protect you.”

Mary’s faith is something I found on her smile there at the image of the Nativity of Jesus.

Dear Very Single Heart (I counselled my heart and I felt joy)

Sometimes, the most enlightening words that can dispel the darkness gripping the course of our life will not come from mouth of well-known speakers neither from written words from self – help books’ authors or generally from other’s prodding, but will come from our own words, from the counsel of our own heart.

Last Christmas, my single heart was feeling the romance of Christmas. I might have watched too much of Hallmark movies on previous months that it caused me to feel empty in the season of reunions, weddings and gift-giving. The feeling of aloneness was even made worse with the situation that I will work on Christmas day and New Year’s eve, literally alone. I fought hard not to be given a task on the Christmas day but all my reasons were left unheard for according to our yearly work schedule, it is everyone from the team’s turn to go on holiday except me. This even before Christmas made me unhappy.

So, on early Christmas morning, I packed a portion from the food left of the Christmas eve dinner with my friends, then headed to work. As an overseas worker, I do not live with my family but I stay with friends. After 12 hours of duty, I was ready to head home. But, when I reached home, there was total darkness. I only then remembered that my friends and their children went to a short holiday getaway and left the country while I was in the office. So, I am left alone in the silent and dark house on a Christmas night.

Trust me that I have been single since forever and I know how to deal with loneliness of aloneness but not on this Christmas day.

I know the drill every single time I feel the loneliness of aloneness and singleness. I have to remember the many gifts of single life that I have. The gift of freedom, the gift of freedom and the gift of freedom. Eerrr… what are the other gifts of Single life, again, Benia?

I must be drowning with loneliness that I forgot the other gifts of single life.
I went to open the Christmas lights and cuddled my lonesome self at the couch.

I have enough of all the single life drama from my own stories and other friends, that I don’t want to make my first Christmas night alone to be a night of drama.

I put on make-up and fix my hair and prepared the table like that day was a Christmas day. I said the grace before meal and talked to the Lord to be with me and send me His angels.

As I ate, I told myself to call my family again after my dinner. I remembered all the gifts that I have received and I didn’t open yet as I waited for this Christmas night. While I ate, I dared to ask myself, “Why am I alone on this Christmas night?”

I am alone because I am overseas because of work. I am alone because I don’t have a family yet… As I chew my food inside my mouth, I chew every reason why I’m still single. An array of past situations and decisions that I made got played inside my head, of missed chances and unopenness attitude. There at that table, alone, I realized I’ve been living so comfortably and didn’t make big decisions that somehow told me I lack courage specially in the area of dating. I made myself to stay in the safe zone and did not make myself open to possibilities. I have not executed my plans to find ways of meeting new people and even listened to my doubts that I rejected past invitations.

I reassured my heart:

“I am not making things hard for myself while I tried to answer that question, “Why am I alone on this Christmas?” I am making things happen, heart. Because we don’t want to be like this every single Christmas to come. This set up will be just temporary.”

It was like a root-cause analysis and implementing corrective – preventive actions, my actual job skill, that I am doing on my actual life.

I counselled my heart not to be lonely with this literal emptiness but to be grateful because there is a chance to change the course of the direction of my life. That this night is a night where the Lord is showing what is important to me and that is relationship, of good relationships. Good relationships that define the meaning and joy in my life, that my decision should be based first and foremost by the question of who and not secondary by why.

I countinued to counsel my heart while I cleared the table and washed the dishes, to revive all the true friendships I have lost along the way and keep those that profoundly matter and drop all those who are exactly opposite, the users and the energy – drainers and the self – righteous. I also counselled my heart to identify what type of events to drop out of my life.

By the end of my dinner and done with packing of another food portion that I will bring for the next day’s work, I felt the revival of my heart. I felt so happy. In this solitude, I counselled my heart and I felt joy.

Before going to sleep, I opened all presents I received from friends and sent a thank-you- message to each one. Then, I called my parents and sister for another greeting for I already talked to them during the Christmas eve. I said a prayer of gratitude and I switched – on my lamp stand happy and at peace.

Dear Single Me, thank you for allowing your heart to understand your mistakes. Thank you, heart, for your courage and hope.

__________

Maybe as the new year starts, why not take a good amount of quality time of understanding, listening and speaking of your heart to your heart?

__________

Please like and share, if only you would. Thank you!!

Please leave a comment of how your last Christmas Eve or Day went. I would love to hear it.

Love and Beauty,

B

Preparing for the Messiah (Ten Suggestions for the Advent Season)

Advent is the season of four Sundays of Catholics leading to Christmas. It is the most anticipated season for me next to Christmas Eve. I heard a lot of my married friends, both men and women, say that their wedding preparation led them to a more intimate way than in any day of their dating…

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Hello, Friend – followers!

It’s already December 01, here in my place (Tampines) and I just wanted to greet all you with a Happy December 2018!

I hardly have time to write these days but this morning while praying, I realised I have ticked – off one of my goals for this year, that’s – to publish a blogsite.

Thank you all for your kindness and generosity of your likes and follows. I just want to thank you in a way I feel would be personal so I took a video of the Orchard Road this 0030H. Walking along Orchard Road during rest day is favourite get – away.

Here is me who just woke up, without filter, without make up. God bless and please comment, if you have time.