I have been serving single people who love and honor the Lord for almost two decades now while, I, myself is a síngle person. I have heard and some witnessed stories of female single friends of how they fell in love and heard and witnessed, too, a lot of single people experienced the biggest heartbreak of their lives.

One night, I reflected what it takes to be the right person for another right person. This article is a result of that reflection
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Following a love letter

Dear Mr Right, Would you be my number 2?

Here’s the prequel to that.

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What it Takes to be Mr Right (A Love Letter)

Dear Son,

How have you been?

Heavens just stopped and dropped their singing these days whenever your heart smiles at my own daughter whether in person or at the screen everytime you message her.

I have planned of your existence long before the foundation of the world but your moves and decisions surprise me these days.

I smile with you whenever she smiles back at you. Heavens rejoice with you.

You sure are responding to the growing seed that I have planted in your heart, a seed that speaks of me, a seed that glorifies me, a seed that gives purpose to your living. And that brings me honor.

The seed of desiring to find a wife comes from me. A wife who is not appropriate for me, but aptly for you. Someone suitable for you, so, someone I fashioned for you. Since, I created and love you, I know very well what you need, what you like, what complements you and above all, what will make you closer to me and not what will take you away from me.

As you search for her out from a growing desire to find someone to love for a lifetime, to make babies with and be a helpmate to your future family, I want to draw you more to me. The more that you build your relationship with me, the more that seed grows. Remember that seed comes from me and only me can grow that seed, so, come to me, my Son, my future Kingdom builder, my beloved.

Let me water the soil of your being, so it will be fertile. Once fertile, the seed will grow into sprout. Let me clear the clouds of fear in your head. I am the way, the truth and the life, so, with me you can clear all confusion. Let me reveal to you the great manhood that I have created you to live – out. You can do great things far more than what you thought of yourself. You have my image and likeness and, thus, you carry the power and splendor of my Name. I created that manhood and thus, you have immense strength to build, destroy and endure. Let me remind you my son, once again, that you are called to be holy for I am holy. In your holiness, in your stronger relationship with me and in your deep love for me, then, you shall gain direction and will not be dismayed when you find the person I have created, molded and will respond to your search.

My Son, I am here with you in the pursuit I have designed for your life. If you invite me to join you in your pursuit and obey to be the person who you really are in my eyes then you will be Mr Right for someone that caught your eye, someone like a prey to your hunt, someone I have fashioned, molded and loved, someone who is herself loves and honors me, too.

You have what it takes to be Mr Right and soon, be a leader of church called a family.

Your fan,
Father God

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While I wait for my rescheduled flight (I’m so used to these kind of changes every Christmas flight that I forgot how to complain and just now, I smiled and teasingly told the neatly hair-tied airline staff, “Don’t I get to have at least a free burger for this?”) I remembered one new year’s eve, a neighbor who was a palm reading enthusiast told me her prediction. I was a little girl then and not in school that I don’t know how to write even my own name yet. She was so amazed, I guess, that after she got my palm, she called my Mama. “Mrs Linda, something is with your child.” Before Mama arrived, our neighbor told me a revelation and those words were placed in my young mind and spoken straight to my believing heart, “Nene, great things are found in your palm. You will constantly fly and you will be victorious! Big stars and great – sized airplanes are written in your palms. ”
I hardly remember our neighbor’s name but those big words were spoken straight to my young believing heart from that time until now. “Great things are found in your palms.”
I don’t believe in palm reading but I believe that there is a great future for each one of us, that big stars are written in our names and humongous airplanes are drawn in our palm because we can soar high. We are able. We are free. Because, the great future ahead of us was planned right even before we existed, as a privilege.

As 2018 bids farewell, may we remember every person whether stranger, family, friend, colleague, leader or any human being who believes in our capacity to fulfill our dreams, to achieve and to soar.

As 2018 comes to a close, I thank the Lord for the gift of the combination of my passport and SG residency, the gift of courage for all my past hurdles in school, my guiding parents and all teachers who all believed, maybe, not even in my talents but only because the lines my palm tell them to believe in me.

Dear Lord, we claim today Your big and great plans for us from Your Mighty Big hands. Please help us fulfill those. Amen.

#GodhasbeengoodToMe
#tearyeyed
#thankyoufamily

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In my bible reading of the gospel according to Mark, I encountered this verse again. This time it spoke to me in a different way. It spoke to me about signs and our judgement, even in our romantic lives. I went back to a video of Nicole Kidman, one of my favourite actresses, when, she guested in The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon for the first time, sometime 3 years ago today.

I can’t help but picture it in my mind while Jimmy Fallon tells his version of the incident and Nicole does hers, too.

Here’s the link. You will certainly enjoy.

Jimmy Fallon Blew A Chance To Date Nicole Kidman

This is a story that creates different reactions from different type of singles.
For waiting singles, they will say “That’s a big near miss! Sayang”. For heartbroken singles, they will say “Men, they just do not see who are the one! Ugh”. For steady and ready-to-mingle singles, they will say “OK, let’s move on from here, next!”, without even asking themselves “Did I just had a T.O.T.G.A?

(T.O.T.G.A. = Teh, one that got away.) L.O.L.

This true story between Nicole and Jimmy never leaves my mind without me smiling… with relief.

When things are not falling into proper places and falling into places means falling at the right time, it only goes to show that the universe is helping to translate the situation that it is not meant for my good.

This thought was validated in this event with Jimmy and Nicole.

Here are my points:

First, I put the crucial point to Rick, the common friend. I must say that Rick did not deliver completely the task of a wing man. He did not tell Jimmy to order some nice foods and be at his best when him and Nicole arrive. He must have reasons for not doing so. That night might be not so romantic for him, that he did not see the the big picture of love happening between his well-known friends and doing great favours for them. He must have reasons.

Second, I agree of how Nicole assessed Jimmy’s wardrobe and look when they arrived at his apartment. If men are visual, all the more women are. The only difference is women can be  quiet about it and have the power to still consider giving a man a chance of being together who does not meet her physical standards but appeals to her higher needs like security or life’s purpose. But, at this time, Nicole felt that Jimmy’s wearing of cap is an absence of interest. To share a bit of my own story. The Lord knows how I assessed (a few) men in the past and even in  the present times, that men who meet me without even trying to look at his best, physically are not into me, simply, because they are not trying to impress me, not at all. Although, this is not the singular criteria of assessing whether a man is into a lady and vice-versa, a decent OOTD greatly matters for a first – time meeting between singles from opposite sex. That happened to Nicole for felling that way. She must have reasons.

Thirdly and most importantly, had Jimmy really liked Nicole and not just like having i-am-not-worthy-fan-admiration, he could have called Nicole and asked her number from Rick and call her with lines like “Oh, hi there. Thank you for your visit last night and I felt I missed to prepare you something great to eat, you know that kind of stuff. Err.. Would you like to have a dinner with me, sometime?” That’s not even 50 words including the shy-expressions! Why didn’t he call? He must have reasons.

OK, that first meeting might be tragic for Jimmy to prepare and be at his best. But, c’mon, man, ladies like Nicole can very well understand the situation that they’ve just walk-by without a prior notice so they can give this man a chance. Afterall, she liked him! But, Jimmy did not call and ask the universe to give him a chance to impress Nicole. Jimmy must have reasons for not doing so.

Or… the universe knew and whispered to Nicole as earlier at that time that few years down the road someone else is meant for her, who the universe will help to translate that he is the one for her and in the same way to Jimmy, too.

God is merciful. God sends signs so we will be aligned with him.

So, me and fellow waiting people whether single or married, waiting for a dream to transpire, be still and have faith.

When things are not falling into proper places, it is not yet time. When it is not yet time, be still and wait with anticipation for that time of favours to come.

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Thank you for reading.
May God be praised.

Love and beauty,
B.

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Dear Sis,

What are your skin care routines?

Thanks,

Sister

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Today, I would like to share my passion of taking care of my skin and my joy each time I find a great beauty product. What I mean by a great beauty product is that it delivers its claims at a reasonable price.

(I have second thoughts of replying to this question for the fear that it will promote materialism. However, after thinking that there are a lot of beauty products within a very reasonable price and these companies create jobs, thus, I got convinced, otherwise.)

Instead of Buying Make-Up, I Invested On My Skin As Early As My Late Teen Years

I started taking care of my skin intentionally when I left the university and started earning my own. I didn’t have make – up products and only had baby powder but it has always been in my mind that a flawless skin is the base of nicely applied make-up, so, I decided to invest time and money for my facial skin, particularly.

  1. Toner/Cleansing Toner

I never went to bed without washing my face. (Maybe for few times that I missed to do it were because I was so tired and maybe even slept with my working clothes on.) After washing, I cleaned once again my face with cotton wetted of facial toner. But, Sister, be careful with toner as most of toners contain alcohol. Alcohol can make your skin dry and dry skin will make you look older aside from the fact it is prone to premature aging (fine wrinkles). So, observe the type of your skin. It has been my practice to use toners with alcohol content only when I have a pimple. Once, it get dried, I use the less “strong” toner. My usual toner is L’Oreal Whitening toner, but, these days, I’m using Ponds Toner.

It has always been my habit to check on the content of beauty products that I buy. (OK, Sister, I must admit that I can understand few of the content, having once worked for a consumer goods-manufacturing company as an Research and Development Chemist, but those contents are readily searchable in Google) Please do spend time to research.

  1. Moisturizer Is A Must At Night

I will never get caught sleeping without a moisturizer on. I applied Body Shop Vitamin E stick around my eyes and L’Oreal Revitalift during the night.

I started with my humble savings on AVON products. When I started earning, it is this time that I started buying L’Oreal moisturizer and Vitamin C serum from Body Shop. Applying moisturizer at night is like taking care of your skin without much ado. Just imagine all the vitamins and AHA being absorbed by your skin in straight 7-8 hours without intervention of pollution or sunrays in a regular basis. This is also the reason why most of the vitamin -rich beauty products are formulated for night application. Night time is for the time for the skin to regenerate. Sometimes, I don’t wash my face with soap in the morning and be contended with water only.

I just love how I see my skin in the morning and that encouraged me to continue on with the practice since then until now.

  1. Whitening Soap

There was a time that I use whitening soaps in a regular basis but I observed that it caused my skin to get dried. I know that most of this kind of products are for exfoliation, but, I was not happy seeing my skin get dried and peeling – off. Although, for right products selected for right type of skin and used properly under the recommended weather, the result after peeling – off is just wonderful!

Sister, as most of the whitening soaps contain acidic compounds, if you are using whitening soaps when you are bathing, please wash-off the soap from your skin after 2 minutes. Do not let it retain on your skin more than 2 minutes in an everyday practice.

  1. Moisturizer Cream In The Morning

Nowadays, I’m using L’Oreal Revitalift (the product come in two formulations) in the morning as it contains sunscreen. Using sunscreen can save you from color pigmentation, specially, if you are using products that cause whitening or exfoliation of your skin. Skin pigmentation can add years to your skin.

For the last 10 years, my main skincare products varied from Body Shop Vitamin C Serum, SK-II, CLINIQUE 1,2 and 3 and USANA Celevive. I recommend use of those products, too.

  1. Make – Up Remover

It’s only lately when I started applying full make – up and not even in a regular basis, that I started to have the need to get rid of make -up using a make -up remover before I wash my face with soap.

There are make -up products most specially the foundation that can’t be removed by water and soap.

Etude House has an oil-based facial cleanser that can get rid of make-up. I once used this product and was happy that it can be my make up remover and cleanser in one go. But, I did not use it a daily basis, only when I have make up on because I have an oily skin and using it often made my skin even oilier.

You see sister, after years of taking care of my skin, there is no single person in my previous and current office that can guess my age exactly. Their guesses were 12-15 years younger than my actual age. (Although, I’m also aware that they were being nice, too with their guesses.) Since then I let them guess and never confirmed my age.

It is true that when you love yourself, she will love you back.

May God give you joy while you take care of His gift to you, your skin, the largest part of your body, the body which is the temple of His Holy Spirit.

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Thank you and God bless.

(Leading Prayer Group Meetings)

It was at that time when I said “Yes” to be a group prayer head in a Catholic charismatic community for singles. This Catholic charismatic community has small units of prayer group. This prayer group is called “Household” which is normally consists of 4-5 single ladies, so, that makes me a Household head.
Being friends mainly with girls is something very familiar for me, as growing up and during teen years, I was part of all girls big group of friends. During my first years as a young professional, I still was part of all ladies group in the company where I worked. We regularly went to night – outs wearing our Tok-Toks (our own secret code for high – heeled shoes because of the sound that it makes when we walk with it on). Basically, what I am saying here, I know generally how girls operate, unite, celebrate, love and fight together ever since I was young. Girl power, how ancient the concept may it sound, has always been in me… until I joined the Catholic community for singles .

As I write this, I can’t help but be filled once again with gratitude. This is the posture of my heart each time I get to remember my first few days as an S-F-C, of becoming, that is, Someone for Christ.

Heading the Household prayer group for sisters is also like leading a girl power group in fun and activities except that with this task, I am leading them to Christ and not to the “domination” (lol) of the world. Leading them to Christ means making myself available for them without any cost. Unlike the girl power friendship, this task required me sacrifices. So, I later replaced the term “task” to “service” and me not a “leader” but a “mother”, as I always associate sacrifices to motherhood.

During my first year as a Household head, I was faced with struggles to prepare the discussion topics, my parents’ house and foods.

The difficulty on preparing the discussion topic was not so much because my default topic was the scripture reading for the day, compared to preparing and clearing the food to be served. The latter task was more daunting for me. Food preparation required me time and other resources.

Burdened I may seemed with the differences of building friendship with new sisters (new members) in the community, however, just like in my all-girls friendship, I find joy and love whenever I am with them during household prayer meetings.

All my efforts are somewhat reciprocated specially whenever there was a well-attended household prayer meeting. But I enjoyed, too, even only a member shows up. It is a chance for a heart – to – heart talk.

So, after each and every prayer meeting when all the members are gone and I am left alone washing used glasses, plates, spoons and forks, clearing the table and floors. There in that last task that I find silence without the rush, but, a happy silence with the Lord. It is in this moment that my mind starts to process what just transpired in the prayer meeting. It is in this moment that I realize the Lord is making everything possible. It is in this moment that I say, “Thank You, Lord. Mission accomplished.” It is in this act of washing the dishes, clearing the table and rubbish bin that I find most fulfilling of becoming a head.

Matthew 20:16
So the last will be first, and the first will be last.


Thank you for reading.

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