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And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly

Matthew 1:19

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Jesus, the Saviour, the Messiah was raised with this kind of man, a man who is just, righteous, considerate, compassionate, loving and protective.

I believe God continues to raise men like him, like Saint Joseph.

May you find someone like him today in your midst.

May you build someone like him today in your family.

May you recognise someone like him today.

May you choose someone like him today.

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B.

Since the start of the year I have been living with a family with two children. The eldest, Anton, is my godson.

Lately, I get to talk to him before I head to work and praying with him is how we end our conversation. (Sounds like we had a serious talk, right?) It has never occurred to my mind that talking and playing with a 5-year old boy can really be the happiest moment of the day for single person having 12-hour shift work (yeah, that’s me).

Praying is not something new to Anton as he normally does this with his parents, my friends. But for me, praying with a child is something very unfamiliar to me. So, my usual prayer goes like this:

Dear Father God,

Thank You for (his parents and all the people in the house). Please bless Anton who is a sweet, healthy, thoughtful and good boy.

And each and every time that I speak these words, he rolls while smiling. I can tell his face is bursting with joy! Then, he will be back in his sitting posture as I end with “Amen”.

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People Change When Someone Believes

People decide to change when they are happy and they are happy when someone, even a single soul believes in their goodness. Let me paraphrase that.

Believing is valuing and valuing causes someone to be happy. When someone is happy, it triggers change.

Though change can transpire in varying period of time. Some people can change overnight while for others may take a longer time, however, the decision to change happened when someone believes in them. I have observed this way of pattern during the last 17 years of serving adult singles in the church and proved to be what happened to me as well.

And seeing a 5-year-old child gets happy after hearing someone believes in him tells me that valuing a person does not see age!

A Learning And A Conclusion

A regional quality leader once told me during one gruelling laboratory investigation meeting, that no matter how strict quality is imposed to products and system, everyone should believe that every person who comes to work has the intention in mind to work productively.

Be someone who believes in the goodness of another and witness the change.


 

Dearest Father God,

May I never ever forget that there is YOU, You who always value me, You who always believe in me. You are the first one who believes in me. No matter what I do, nothing and no one can separate I from You, from You believing in ME.

 

Thank You.

Amen.

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It does not come naturally for some ladies to submit to a headship in a personal way specially for ladies who have learned for many years to look after and decide for themselves. It takes maturity and guidance of the Holy Spirit so as for a young wife to heed and follow what is said in Ephesians 5:21-23. It takes the patience of a man or a young husband for a lady or young wife to grow in holiness under the headship of a man who loves her. I also am reflecting on the respect to one another of a brother and sister serving together for the Lord in church activities.

Under His Headship (Please Bear With Her, Brother)

While respect to one another is needed to be learned and earned, a trait can lead in easier way and without going through unnecessary conflicts to a life of respect to another person, and, that trait is gentleness.

Gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. These days, people accepts “trash” talking and name-calling believing that one will be heard if they speak that way.

And that, my sister is a lie.

Trash-talking or name calling may catch attention and they may be heard but they will not be listened to. Gentleness creates soft invitation to be listened to and not just to be heard only. To be heard involves sense of hearing only. To be listened to is receiving sense of hearing and the rest of other senses including common sense and sense of humor. Yes, those two, too! Smile.

Girls, since they will take the role of a mother and is the creature more likely to express through words than men, should pray to learn gentleness and debunk rudeness in their spirits.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger ~ Proverbs 15:1

So, gentleness is an agent of peace.

And we girls clamor for world peace during beauty pageants, aren’t we? So, we should live a life of Gentleness.

Gentleness can transpire as early as infancy (No L.O.L. I heard my Mom saying that when I was a baby I never cried frantically. )
Gentleness just like any other traits can be learned from the inside out. Gentleness from within means gentleness to yourself, gentleness in your thoughts and this gentleness will come out constantly to your spoken words and visible actions.
Gentleness is a first degree cousin of compassion. It invites to be in actual shoes of another before forming conclusion on certain situations and people. Gentleness is using the the tone that will avoid provocation of people and thus, calls the help of humility. Gentleness is not timidity.
Gentleness is bearing mind that you need to send across words of loving guidance without putting down on people’s actions and thoughts.

And yes, girl, you are a Sister if the spirit of Gentleness is in you. It looks good on you, in fact.

Dear Father God,
Send forth your Holy Spirit and transform us making us agent of peace through Gentleness.
Amen.

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As someone who has been praying for a lifetime partner, I have experienced occasions of scam in the past and knowing friends who experienced the same.

Sadly, but, in the real world there are people who take advantage insincerely and ruthlessly evil of that holy desire of finding a spouse and raising a family. Most of the time, since they are left unidentified, they continue to hurt the lives of single and looking people not only emotionally but more often, financially.

I personally see scammers as cruel people. Since they don’t personally see the effects of what they have done to their victims, they can ignore outrightly the small voice of conscience in their spirits.

Quite scary for pure intention of loving and be loved by someone who loves you and loves you in return. But, like any other quests in our lives, there are dangers hiding along the way to victory.

The objective of this blog is not to add more “cheese” to that search but open our eyes and minds to the reality of the world where the future spouse also lives.

Here are few signs of this kind of scam:

1. He falls in love with you head over heels in no time.

I came to get in contact with a scammer through a Catholic dating site. He was quick in writing love letters that can sweep off my feet every night and can even quote of bible verses in professing his (scam) love for me.

2. His questioning or kind of getting to know you-ways are more of into interrogation of your financial capabilities.
Few of those questions are towards to:
A. Job position
B. Your travels
C. Your closeness with your family and friends

That person who was a scam kept on telling me that I don’t share with friends about my communication with him for his reason was that girl friends may get “jealous” of what we have. However, at that time, I was already actively serving and part of the Catholic Church community for singles and I trusted my prayer group leader so well that I shared with her even the first time that this person called me. So, by the time that this person was asking me for money, my prayer group leader had her suspicions confirmed.

3. I have experienced scam in two occasions and for both occasions, the perpetrators always fall into sickness.

Any lady who is blinded by his “unproven” love will be overpowered by her emotion to help financially even unreasonably.

4. Their love is conditional.

I have a friend who did not know that her helper was communicating with someone from the internet and she only got to know it when the helper frantically cried. The helper was told by her “lover” that he will send their engagement ring after the helper sends the money for the finishing touches of the house he was building for them and was provided with a link where the helper can track where the engagement ring is.

What was horrifying that the minute the helper completed the online and quick remittance, the link was gone.

5. His/ her details are not specific.

I told a friend who then has already started engaging online with a man who sent her a message through the Catholic dating site where my friend joined, to ask this man to provide her the company name and the reception number where this man works and that my friend will call that reception number to reach him. My friend was able to reach him which gave her a confidence to carry on the online conversation.

Though, my examples are experiences gained in the online dating world, these guides can also be applied in the face-to-face meet ups or dating.

As proven best practice, although, we may be dependent and mature by our own assessment, as searching singles, it is still best to include our parents or family members and a trusted friend in every step that we do in finding the lifetime partner.

As waiting and looking individuals, let us be like as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. For surely, whoever has the pure intention with seeking heart for the right guidance, the Lord will lead.
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Prayers
It is in my prayers to whoever is reading this and is sincerely praying for a spouse that he/she finds him/ today without going through the harm caused by scams. Amen.

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For women who have additional tips which can help women in their online search, please comment below.

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