I looked at the mirror today and found the person looking back at me, smiling. She has been at peace these days that brings her joy to the many new things happening her life. Future looks bright to her eyes. And this person went through the hardest of times over the past 5 years of her life. Sickness, loss, joblessness, heartbreak happened to her.

But, there is smile in her eyes today.

She looked back and all she remembers is the love of the Father to her. A love that is true, faithful and enough.

The love of the Father understands what we are going through. He is bigger than our insecurities, our doubts and fear. As He is much bigger than those, He can not only listen and but also answer those.

During those nights before my surgery, I did question Him but I only surrendered to His love. It is because I know and sure that I would find no wonderful love just like as His. That wonderful love of the Father filled me to endure the deepest pain of losing a body part and that same wonderful love filled me to restore that sick body.

The love of the Father comforts us. His love provides the inner strength of the mind that is needed at that very moment.

I thought not only air would leave my lungs but also my spirit as well when I reached the place of his death. I thought I would die there. But the grace to call the Father’s name was there and it comforted me as I sobbed “My God, my God please help us. (Dyos ko. Dyos ko tulungan Nyo kami.)”, while I brought to my chest the bloodied short pants of my dead older brother.
Just calling out His name at that very instant brought comfort, endurance and direction to take the first steps to getting back pieces of life to whole and working, with parents and the rest of the family.

The love of the Father provides the people that are best for us in a timely fashion. Time is a tool of the love of the Father.

I was told that I got the job of the same company that rejected my application during the last round of job interview of three years ago. I later found that person who rejected my application was transferred to a new job task and there was new person to consider my application. How the love of the Father orchestrates things to happen for our own good at His timing!

The love of the Father is the only love that can fill my deepest needs. I don’t have to search it anywhere, anyone and anything to have my my deepest needs met, it is in His heart that is always accessible to us and for us.

The love of the Father is the reason why there is smile at that person looking back at me at the mirror.. today and through all times.

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May you be filled with His perfect love today.

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REFINER’S FIRE

As I sniffed my freshly sterilized laboratory gown, I knew I was up for another tiring day of chemical analysis. I don it and headed down to that big silent room of chemicals and equipment of where only running water and occasional ringing of the phone can be heard.

I thought I have graduated to this kind of work when I assumed the review and release of raw materials job of a chemist. But when my company started to cut down manpower which started a year ago and management learned that I have the background and expertise of chemical testing, with a heavy heart I said “yes” to the request of the management for what they said that it was a temporary dual role for me. It was a painful “yes” because I have never wanted to go back to laboratory analysis simply because it’s physically exhausting.

This day I silently said “Hello” to Loss on Ignition and Acid Insoluble Substances Tests. I scheduled these tests together as both use one equipment. Funny, but I can never dispel this observation that testing echoes real life. In real life, I tend to remember people on things they like to do and group them according to their likes in my heart and that’s how I scheduled work accordingly.

I started everything in a manner just like in the normal secondary science project. I turned on the furnace, then, set the temperature at 610 degrees. I placed inside the room-temperature crucible. The crucible that I used is heavily stained with black specks, as a result of frequent use. It is supposed to be white as it is made of porcelain.

As I opened the furnace, the glaring red heat of 610 degrees blew me away! I have encountered this kind of set-up before, but, back then it all seemed a regular and plain analysis to me. Not until today.

My crucible mightly remained intact at 610º even after 2 hours of heating, without a crack and and undeniably, it has somehow regained it’s whiteness.

The same crucible was re-heated at 825º in the same furnace. When I opened the furnace after an hour, the image was even glorious! Lo and behold, the light emitted from the wall of furnace can serve as the light of that dark box of fumehood. But my eyes got hooked on the image I saw in between the walls of furnace. That black little specks left from 610 degrees-heating were nowhere to be found. My crucible intact and whiter! It has regained it’s original color of white. Wow, here’s the light that melts the black specs and turned my powder to a white ash! What a physical and chemical transformation!

The high intensity of heating made it even cleaner and whiter….finer….shiner and now looks new without it breaking!

Chemical testing echoes real life.

All those high points in my life were preceeded with pain. The heat of pain has been a part of my life and it refined me. The time of rejections made me know myself and cling to the Lord, that one day I would see an open door, too. The time of loss made me value life and the people around me. The time of sickness made me think that life is temporary and short and make the most out of it. There are times when the heart gets overused that it begins to gain black specs just like my crucible but His fire regained its original color. His fire restores life.

My Master Chemist never promised an easy life but He promised He will take me through the pain. He was there in the fire but He was out for a refiner, cleaner and stronger me without my spirit breaking.

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“I have told you all this, so that in me you may have peace. You will have trouble in the world; but, courage! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

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You Will Be Chosen (Learning to Clap For the Winner During Times of Rejection)

In my lifetime, I have lost count of the number of times that I was not chosen for areas that I have expressed my desire and displayed my efforts to be chosen. This had happened in the areas of my career, personal life, dating and even in friendship, in small and big decisions of others that resulted to a feeling of rejection.

While the world claps for the one that was chosen, there is always someone else from the opposite side of the coin, the one that was not chosen.

While, this happens, there is a big temptation to ask “Why not me?”

Just like any chemical compound where each has it’s own identity, no one is an exact replica of one person.

Each one of us is uniquely different from another person and if a person was chosen for a role and there is no other person like that person, the question “Why not me?” is actually invalid.

But if this temptation to ask “Why not me?” occurs, why not change that question with “Why not now?”

Because the question “Why not now?” is more of an active question than a paralysing question.

As I grow to be more “adultly” each year, I have realized that time is an ingredient of success that is learned by natural process. By considering time in the process of selection and success, preparation becomes crucial. I have read the book “How Luck Happens” and my main take away point in that is Luck happens to the the prepared and focused and preparation and focus is equivalent to time.

“Why not now?” means you need to know a lot more. “Why not now?” means you have to practise more. “Why not now?” means you have to know more of yourself. “Why not now?” means you have to know more about you dreams or skills… Or whatever it takes.

For where I am now in my life and what I have seen and transpired to people around me, success, fulfillment of dreams happens not based on the question “Why not me?” but “Why not now?”

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The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me.

Psalm 28:7

Keep on rowing, knowing that it is a privilege to work with God – and a blessing to be helped by Him – Darlene Sala.

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Finding hope and encouragement in this post?Please send me a like and share. It will truly be appreciated.

Thank you, profoundly.

Love and Beauty,

B

“But bless the Lord Christ in your hearts, Always have an answer ready when you are called upon to account for your hope, but give it simply and with respect.” 1 Peter 3:15

Hello, November.

My 2018 plans is posted in my study area, an area located at the foot-side of my bed. So, every single morning, or more appropriately, since I work in a shift pattern, every single waking-up and sleeping – time morning, I get to see my 2018 Goals hanging there.

Seeing without looking is seeing without the other senses. You physically see that thing is there without giving full attention. And that’s how I treat my 2018 Goals these past few months.

Until today.

Today is November 2. As I remember the souls of my dearly departed, I gave – in to the temptation to see with full attention to my 2018 Goals. I look to it.

The Origin of My Planning
(Ang Alamat ng Pagtatakda)
I need to translate in Tagalog because its more fun. Because the rest of what I will write are seriously true.

Having gone under-the-knife for five surgeries already, 3 minor and 2 major and faced cancer scare in my life, I, (with long pause and deep breath) Benia, do solemnly swear that life is short and that only the Lord can give and take from us His greatest loan to us – the gift of life. In the same way, He determines our death, He alone can determine life (pregnancy/birth)… the covenant of marriage. (Makes beautiful eyes with the thought of marriage).

OK. Here’s the more serious part.

Life is short.

So, the greatest and most valuable thing that can go to waste is T-I-M-E.

I pray and I try with all my best and ask the Lord’s guidance so I can spend this life that He has given me and extended with intentionality.

I consider it a blessing that the Lord allowed me to feel to be facing a possibly imminent death (2-hour inside an MRI machine) and not having completed a mission in this life. It was tragic! It was not the possibility of imminent death (it was heartbreaking, yes!) that is tragic but the thought that I will be dying and has NOT completed my mission (my desires) is! It felt like that dying with out a completed mission is just going through life like a passing wind.

So, I begged for His mercy that He grants me healing and extend my life. This year I am pronounced Cancer – survivor. (Thank you, God, my Lord!)

It’s November. Two months to 2019.
We still have two months, Lord, to erase – off another item or two from this year’s plan. It is still a long period of time.

Let me not be another dose of a passing wind.
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How are doing in your yearly plan? Thank you for reading.

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Finding a push at your dreams in this post?

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