I drew – out another annual goals for this year of 2019. Writing is easy but thinking and choosing the priorities are the hardest.

Through the years, I have learned that the bottle neck of all my dreams is not about other persons but me, myself and I.

An essential amount of maturity led met to realize that dreams and fulfillment are all about me, myself and I. The rest will be just secondary to the me, myself and I.

I have learned trough the years that I have to avoid the feeling of frustrations because the moment that feeling sets in, I loose hope to carry – on. I have learned that as a person I can bear sadness, loneliness and aloneness but the fire to continue to work on whatever kind of endeavor that I am acting on is put – off once the feeling of frustration knocks and stays.
With that knowledge in mind, I need to avoid the feeling of frustration.

Avoiding and Recovering from Feeling of Frustrations Led Me to Self-Awareness

As explored that discovery about myself, I was led to train myself to be aware of things that make me feel frustrated. I have two ways to win over the feeling frustration, first is to avoid (when the frustration is knocking) and second is to recover (kicking – out the feeling of frustration out of the system).

I am no great achiever, but I tried to execute these two ways through prayer time, my quiet

time with the Lord, every. single. day.
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Prayer Time Is Building Your Relationship With the Lord

When I joined Singles for Christ, a Catholic charismatic community, in 2001, I was thought to pray from the heart. In no time, I fell in love with the Lord. I started talking to Him quietly by spending few minutes every start of the day. I was told by my Catholic renewal leaders that prayer is a communication and is a dialogue. Since this is a dialogue, I should not be alone talking here. Otherwise, this will be called a monologue. This was where reading the daily gospel came to the picture.

That silent moment from the world but actively in tune with God is the avenue to express my being without limitations and hear His Word for me.

I can be me and He can be God. What was most beautiful is that even though I can be me truly me, He never has given me bad words about me, myself and I. Not even a single, short word.

I guess that’s the first thing that made me build and continue the silent time with God, He accepts me.

“I must be wonderful to be accepted by this God.”

Eighteen years after the day I fell in love with prayer time, I still get teary – eyed to believe and feel that, “I must be wonderful to be accepted by this God.”

Believing my own kind of wonder, I was led to discover about me, appreciate about me. This me I realized has weakness and strength and as years progress (Thank God), age comes to play with my beautiful complexities.

When in the first place I wanted only to build a relationship with Him, God introduced me to a person special to His eyes. He reveals to me that He got the thrill of His Lordship when His created this person – Me.

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. There was evening and there was morning: the sixth day.”
Genesis 1:31

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To be continued…. (Knowing Me Means Being Compassionate to Others)

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With Love and Beauty,

B

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Trust that the Lord hears all our prayers. He answers those with the best of His love.

For this new year, may you find His wisdom to His answers to your prayers.

Sharing a prayer.

Prayer for Wisdom

I ask God for strength that I might achieve, I was made weak that I might learn to obey.

I ask for health that I might do great things,
I was given infirmities that I might do better things.

I ask riches that I might be happy, I was given poverty that I might be wise.

I ask for power that I might have the praise of men, I was given weakness that I might feel the need for God.

I ask for all things that I might enjoy life, I was given life that I might enjoy things.

Amen.

must admit that in my long years with young praying adult singles, I can not anymore count using both hands how many times I have consoled a sister (lady) because she was not “chosen” by someone she liked and someone else was chosen and that someone else who was chosen happens to be someone she knows also. In a clearer picture,her girlfriend was chosen by someone she likes for herself.

I can console. I can comfort because I know how that feels.


I am no exception. Not once, but twice. Twice that I died to myself. I will give you a picture how it looked with the more heartbreaking moment.


I flew to International Conference for Singles and I’ve been hearing news about them but I had still had high hopes that it was just the regular sister and brother relationship. I’ve just arrived at the venue when I saw them together and they were both laughing. The moment I saw them… I grabbed the brother and exclaimed, “She looks like a forlorn puppy.”

Of course, that was not what happened. Lol.

The moment I saw them, I turned around, stopped and looked down. Heavens knew what I spoke within me, “Lord, naman. Wala pa akong tulog o. I flew here tapos yan ang bubungad nyo sa akin.” (Lord, I haven’t even slept yet. I flew here, then, You’d welcome me with this.) And I swear this happened afterwards, there was a sudden downpour of rain from skies.

They looked cute together. Not me and him. But her and him.

There are times that no matter how hard a sister avoided to fall-in love with her brother – friend, romantic feelings happen. Due to seemingly harmless circumstances, it happens, although to not all friends, but to some sisters and brothers. I don’t assign blame to any party, for in a loving community we take loving seriously. However, all the more we are in a loving community, lest, should we not be more careful on how we relate to one another?

Heeding the boundaries of every relationship that we establish is the supreme loving act for our loved-ones, for our friends.


LOVE WINS: BE THE BEST SISTER

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings occurred for one party only, be the best sister for him, let go of the romantic feelings and hopes as him and you as couple.

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings had took place for one party only, be the best sister for him.

Set your hopes higher to the Lord. He who is love Himself is the author and finisher of every true love story. Hope in the Lord. He will finish a love story for you.



When friendship hurts because romantic feelings had developed for one party only, be the best sister for him. Love him through your decent distance from him. Love is so powerful that we can love EVEN with a certain distance.

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings came into being for one party only, be the best sister for him. Empty yourself of envy. Envy has its own circle of relatives, they are resentment bitterness and jealousy. Be empty of all of those.


As loving friends just like Jesus to us, our loving friend, He died for us. We, too, must learn to die to ourselves, continue to be the best sister, continue to serve, continue to have faith, continue to choose Christ! This is sacrifice and that is love. And love always wins!

When we become the best sister for our “romantic” brother – friend, we are able to love, too…May be not romantically, but this time more deeply.



Dear Father God in Heaven, Lord,

During this time of loneliness of not being “chosen”, please help me NOT forget the people that You bless me with. Please help me not forget the You choose me. Always.

I look forward to that day when this hurting ends. I will make it sooner. Would you please embrace me? Help me. Thank you.

Mother Mary, please intercede for me.

Saint Josemaria Escriva, pray for us.

Amen.



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In my bible reading of the gospel according to Mark, I encountered this verse again. This time it spoke to me in a different way. It spoke to me about signs and our judgement, even in our romantic lives. I went back to a video of Nicole Kidman, one of my favourite actresses, when, she guested in The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon for the first time, sometime 3 years ago today.

I can’t help but picture it in my mind while Jimmy Fallon tells his version of the incident and Nicole does hers, too.

Here’s the link. You will certainly enjoy.

Jimmy Fallon Blew A Chance To Date Nicole Kidman

This is a story that creates different reactions from different type of singles.
For waiting singles, they will say “That’s a big near miss! Sayang”. For heartbroken singles, they will say “Men, they just do not see who are the one! Ugh”. For steady and ready-to-mingle singles, they will say “OK, let’s move on from here, next!”, without even asking themselves “Did I just had a T.O.T.G.A?

(T.O.T.G.A. = Teh, one that got away.) L.O.L.

This true story between Nicole and Jimmy never leaves my mind without me smiling… with relief.

When things are not falling into proper places and falling into places means falling at the right time, it only goes to show that the universe is helping to translate the situation that it is not meant for my good.

This thought was validated in this event with Jimmy and Nicole.

Here are my points:

First, I put the crucial point to Rick, the common friend. I must say that Rick did not deliver completely the task of a wing man. He did not tell Jimmy to order some nice foods and be at his best when him and Nicole arrive. He must have reasons for not doing so. That night might be not so romantic for him, that he did not see the the big picture of love happening between his well-known friends and doing great favours for them. He must have reasons.

Second, I agree of how Nicole assessed Jimmy’s wardrobe and look when they arrived at his apartment. If men are visual, all the more women are. The only difference is women can be  quiet about it and have the power to still consider giving a man a chance of being together who does not meet her physical standards but appeals to her higher needs like security or life’s purpose. But, at this time, Nicole felt that Jimmy’s wearing of cap is an absence of interest. To share a bit of my own story. The Lord knows how I assessed (a few) men in the past and even in  the present times, that men who meet me without even trying to look at his best, physically are not into me, simply, because they are not trying to impress me, not at all. Although, this is not the singular criteria of assessing whether a man is into a lady and vice-versa, a decent OOTD greatly matters for a first – time meeting between singles from opposite sex. That happened to Nicole for felling that way. She must have reasons.

Thirdly and most importantly, had Jimmy really liked Nicole and not just like having i-am-not-worthy-fan-admiration, he could have called Nicole and asked her number from Rick and call her with lines like “Oh, hi there. Thank you for your visit last night and I felt I missed to prepare you something great to eat, you know that kind of stuff. Err.. Would you like to have a dinner with me, sometime?” That’s not even 50 words including the shy-expressions! Why didn’t he call? He must have reasons.

OK, that first meeting might be tragic for Jimmy to prepare and be at his best. But, c’mon, man, ladies like Nicole can very well understand the situation that they’ve just walk-by without a prior notice so they can give this man a chance. Afterall, she liked him! But, Jimmy did not call and ask the universe to give him a chance to impress Nicole. Jimmy must have reasons for not doing so.

Or… the universe knew and whispered to Nicole as earlier at that time that few years down the road someone else is meant for her, who the universe will help to translate that he is the one for her and in the same way to Jimmy, too.

God is merciful. God sends signs so we will be aligned with him.

So, me and fellow waiting people whether single or married, waiting for a dream to transpire, be still and have faith.

When things are not falling into proper places, it is not yet time. When it is not yet time, be still and wait with anticipation for that time of favours to come.

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Thank you for reading.
May God be praised.

Love and beauty,
B.

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Dear Sis,

What are your skin care routines?

Thanks,

Sister

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Today, I would like to share my passion of taking care of my skin and my joy each time I find a great beauty product. What I mean by a great beauty product is that it delivers its claims at a reasonable price.

(I have second thoughts of replying to this question for the fear that it will promote materialism. However, after thinking that there are a lot of beauty products within a very reasonable price and these companies create jobs, thus, I got convinced, otherwise.)

Instead of Buying Make-Up, I Invested On My Skin As Early As My Late Teen Years

I started taking care of my skin intentionally when I left the university and started earning my own. I didn’t have make – up products and only had baby powder but it has always been in my mind that a flawless skin is the base of nicely applied make-up, so, I decided to invest time and money for my facial skin, particularly.

  1. Toner/Cleansing Toner

I never went to bed without washing my face. (Maybe for few times that I missed to do it were because I was so tired and maybe even slept with my working clothes on.) After washing, I cleaned once again my face with cotton wetted of facial toner. But, Sister, be careful with toner as most of toners contain alcohol. Alcohol can make your skin dry and dry skin will make you look older aside from the fact it is prone to premature aging (fine wrinkles). So, observe the type of your skin. It has been my practice to use toners with alcohol content only when I have a pimple. Once, it get dried, I use the less “strong” toner. My usual toner is L’Oreal Whitening toner, but, these days, I’m using Ponds Toner.

It has always been my habit to check on the content of beauty products that I buy. (OK, Sister, I must admit that I can understand few of the content, having once worked for a consumer goods-manufacturing company as an Research and Development Chemist, but those contents are readily searchable in Google) Please do spend time to research.

  1. Moisturizer Is A Must At Night

I will never get caught sleeping without a moisturizer on. I applied Body Shop Vitamin E stick around my eyes and L’Oreal Revitalift during the night.

I started with my humble savings on AVON products. When I started earning, it is this time that I started buying L’Oreal moisturizer and Vitamin C serum from Body Shop. Applying moisturizer at night is like taking care of your skin without much ado. Just imagine all the vitamins and AHA being absorbed by your skin in straight 7-8 hours without intervention of pollution or sunrays in a regular basis. This is also the reason why most of the vitamin -rich beauty products are formulated for night application. Night time is for the time for the skin to regenerate. Sometimes, I don’t wash my face with soap in the morning and be contended with water only.

I just love how I see my skin in the morning and that encouraged me to continue on with the practice since then until now.

  1. Whitening Soap

There was a time that I use whitening soaps in a regular basis but I observed that it caused my skin to get dried. I know that most of this kind of products are for exfoliation, but, I was not happy seeing my skin get dried and peeling – off. Although, for right products selected for right type of skin and used properly under the recommended weather, the result after peeling – off is just wonderful!

Sister, as most of the whitening soaps contain acidic compounds, if you are using whitening soaps when you are bathing, please wash-off the soap from your skin after 2 minutes. Do not let it retain on your skin more than 2 minutes in an everyday practice.

  1. Moisturizer Cream In The Morning

Nowadays, I’m using L’Oreal Revitalift (the product come in two formulations) in the morning as it contains sunscreen. Using sunscreen can save you from color pigmentation, specially, if you are using products that cause whitening or exfoliation of your skin. Skin pigmentation can add years to your skin.

For the last 10 years, my main skincare products varied from Body Shop Vitamin C Serum, SK-II, CLINIQUE 1,2 and 3 and USANA Celevive. I recommend use of those products, too.

  1. Make – Up Remover

It’s only lately when I started applying full make – up and not even in a regular basis, that I started to have the need to get rid of make -up using a make -up remover before I wash my face with soap.

There are make -up products most specially the foundation that can’t be removed by water and soap.

Etude House has an oil-based facial cleanser that can get rid of make-up. I once used this product and was happy that it can be my make up remover and cleanser in one go. But, I did not use it a daily basis, only when I have make up on because I have an oily skin and using it often made my skin even oilier.

You see sister, after years of taking care of my skin, there is no single person in my previous and current office that can guess my age exactly. Their guesses were 12-15 years younger than my actual age. (Although, I’m also aware that they were being nice, too with their guesses.) Since then I let them guess and never confirmed my age.

It is true that when you love yourself, she will love you back.

May God give you joy while you take care of His gift to you, your skin, the largest part of your body, the body which is the temple of His Holy Spirit.

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As someone who has been praying for a lifetime partner, I have experienced occasions of scam in the past and knowing friends who experienced the same.

Sadly, but, in the real world there are people who take advantage insincerely and ruthlessly evil of that holy desire of finding a spouse and raising a family. Most of the time, since they are left unidentified, they continue to hurt the lives of single and looking people not only emotionally but more often, financially.

I personally see scammers as cruel people. Since they don’t personally see the effects of what they have done to their victims, they can ignore outrightly the small voice of conscience in their spirits.

Quite scary for pure intention of loving and be loved by someone who loves you and loves you in return. But, like any other quests in our lives, there are dangers hiding along the way to victory.

The objective of this blog is not to add more “cheese” to that search but open our eyes and minds to the reality of the world where the future spouse also lives.

Here are few signs of this kind of scam:

1. He falls in love with you head over heels in no time.

I came to get in contact with a scammer through a Catholic dating site. He was quick in writing love letters that can sweep off my feet every night and can even quote of bible verses in professing his (scam) love for me.

2. His questioning or kind of getting to know you-ways are more of into interrogation of your financial capabilities.
Few of those questions are towards to:
A. Job position
B. Your travels
C. Your closeness with your family and friends

That person who was a scam kept on telling me that I don’t share with friends about my communication with him for his reason was that girl friends may get “jealous” of what we have. However, at that time, I was already actively serving and part of the Catholic Church community for singles and I trusted my prayer group leader so well that I shared with her even the first time that this person called me. So, by the time that this person was asking me for money, my prayer group leader had her suspicions confirmed.

3. I have experienced scam in two occasions and for both occasions, the perpetrators always fall into sickness.

Any lady who is blinded by his “unproven” love will be overpowered by her emotion to help financially even unreasonably.

4. Their love is conditional.

I have a friend who did not know that her helper was communicating with someone from the internet and she only got to know it when the helper frantically cried. The helper was told by her “lover” that he will send their engagement ring after the helper sends the money for the finishing touches of the house he was building for them and was provided with a link where the helper can track where the engagement ring is.

What was horrifying that the minute the helper completed the online and quick remittance, the link was gone.

5. His/ her details are not specific.

I told a friend who then has already started engaging online with a man who sent her a message through the Catholic dating site where my friend joined, to ask this man to provide her the company name and the reception number where this man works and that my friend will call that reception number to reach him. My friend was able to reach him which gave her a confidence to carry on the online conversation.

Though, my examples are experiences gained in the online dating world, these guides can also be applied in the face-to-face meet ups or dating.

As proven best practice, although, we may be dependent and mature by our own assessment, as searching singles, it is still best to include our parents or family members and a trusted friend in every step that we do in finding the lifetime partner.

As waiting and looking individuals, let us be like as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. For surely, whoever has the pure intention with seeking heart for the right guidance, the Lord will lead.
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Prayers
It is in my prayers to whoever is reading this and is sincerely praying for a spouse that he/she finds him/ today without going through the harm caused by scams. Amen.

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For women who have additional tips which can help women in their online search, please comment below.

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