Chronicles of Benia


Dear Sis B, Lately, I’ve been trying to take hold of my finances for my future plans. But how can be one be thrifty but at the same time still stay generous to others? I firmly believe in my heart that Jesus wants us to be generous not just on our time and talents but …

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When You Have No Other Choice But to Fight the Battle (The Princess Is Also A Lioness)



When You Have No Other Choice But To Fight The  Battle (Facing Life’s Challenges, First of the Series)

A cliche says “Choose your battle.” But, since, I believe, we are living in a place where the Lord allows free will, sometimes, it’s the battle that chooses us to be the opponent and there is no other way but to participate in the battle and fight like a pro.

This story is one of those situations where one didn’t have an option but to fight and it meant fighting for life.

It was six to seven years ago. I came to Singapore General Hospital (SGH) to hear the medical results after I was confined for about a week in two different hospitals. I came alone and received the news alone. I am somehow prepared to be told for a surgery but not for a biopsy. Biopsy is serious, I know. By rapid injection with pain more than a bite of an insect, a sample of the tumor was collected. My doctor advised me to come back a week later to know whether the tumor recurrence is cancerous or not.

I hurriedly went out of the hospital as I have a service meeting with my co-servants in Pastoral Formation Office (PFO) in less than an hour.

” I will be late.”, was the line what I worried.

As I boarded the train, I ran through how much time I would be late in the appointment. Unbelievably calm, was I? Or I was just in denial?

As I entered into the property, I walked passed a swimming pool with a light and mini- man-made falls. I saw my shadow and stopped . I knew in my heart that I needed to stop even at least for awhile and let the medical result reached my ears. Because with the rate it was going, I felt like ” Did you hear what the doctor said?”

I walked again after thinking that question and reached the intended house in no time.

My co-servants in PFO are a married couple. They knew that I will be coming from my doctor and after hearing the initial findings, they did not proceed with the meeting and asked me more about it. They were even more concerned than I was, it seemed. Truth suddenly begun to sink-in to. me as I related the story of my medical history. Then, the wall of denial started to disintegrate and so was my calmness. Until, Sister Claira said that she had Cancer Stage 1 in her neck and had the lump removed and pronounced cancer – free. Then, after sometime, she had a baby. No wonder there was a baby cry monitor she was holding. Brother Allen, her husband just shared that he was lost when he heard the medical results about his wife. But in the moment of uncertainty, he had the courage to be still and heard the Lord told him ” I am the God of order.” That’s where the point he got his act together and decided to speak to his young children and I would not forget his line to his children which he shared to me, “I do not know what would happen to my life if we would lose your mom.” After hearing the Lord spoke to his heart, he knew what to do next.

I was listening intently at their stories of their journey on cancer but at the back of my head I realized that it is God’s way of making his presence felt at the early stage of my own battle that I need to face through this couple who had already won over the Cancer Battle as a family.

Who could ever orchestra that by the time I will be receiving the bad medical news, I would be talking to them right very after!! Only the Lord, the God author of life and order! That their presence in my life was in perfect timing when I needed a reassurance and they were around to remind me of the good news of the Lord and affirming me that I, too, can win over this battle because God who was with them is the same God with me now.

Suddenly, their baby cried as what we heard from the baby cry monitor, Sis Claira ran to their baby Ana and I was left alone. I stared at the baby cry monitor and said to myself, “I would be blessed to see Baby Ana grows and get old.” It was signifying long life for me.

“The Lord is with me in this battle. I am not alone.”

I went home braver. I was on for the fight of my one and only life.

And you guess it right, everytime baby Ana celebrates her birthday, I celebrate with her for my second life.

PS. I used an alternative name to protect the family.


Dear Lord, thank you for this life. It is a precious gift You have given to us. Since this life only happens once, please always remind us that You are with us. Your presence felt will put order to our lives at all times even when a storm or storms strike us.
Please make your presence felt amidst our lowliness, for without it, we are lost. Amen.

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