What it means to guard your heart with all your heart (Yes, your very heart)

I myself often tell this to my female single friends to guard the heart. I say this to them and even to myself as if it is a regular expression like “hello”, “hi or “welcome”, until I spoke to a young lady who I met three months ago.

She asked me of the meaning of guarding the heart after I told her that line.

I stopped and realised that it really is a big thought to say specially, if it is meant as an advice or a loving prodding. While I searched in my heart the meaning of “guarding the heart”, it came to mind that it may be the probable reason on why people, myself included, find it hard to guard the heart is because, the meaning and intention of guarding the heart is incomprehensible, on why it is needful. Thus, do-able steps on how to guard the heart seem hard to do because the noble reason on doing so is something has not been pondered upon and has not been understood, With this, it resulted to failure to guard the heart.

The intention of guarding the heart is not to supress the feelings or treat your feelings to be invalid. It is not also the intention of guarding the heart to harden your heart from loving and enjoying the pleasure. Neither, guarding the heart promotes foolishness by considering what you are feeling to be not childish and is shallow.

But guarding is protecting your heart ultimately from lies.

If truth sets you free, then, lies hold you as captives. When we are captives, there is bondage…there is misery …..there is hurt.

Here are do-able and comprehensible steps of how to guard the heart:

  1. Guarding your heart is knowing your heart

It means knowing what you want, your purpose of wanting or doing what you are doing or wanting. It means knowing your limitations, your weakness, your strength.

Classic example: I would like to be married. So, knowing that in my heart tells me that I would only date people who can get married.

Classic example 2: You keep on asking a person out. You keep on calling the same person. There might be a good reason. Identify that reason and assess.

  1. Keep your eyes opened.

This is best achieved by eliminating day dreaming.

Classic example: In your dreams you and “your friend” who had just asked you out are already married, when you just dated once. Lol

  1. Hear in audible voice the words of God

Most of the time, when a girl/lady/person is filled with self- emotions, even when we pray, we will not be able to hear the word of the Lord or even determine in our hearts the will of the Lord. So, don’t just pray about it. Share your feelings/your thoughts to a trusted friend or family member who knows you and cares for you. They will most likely present to you the truth if the cloud of romance and the idea of being love has already clouded your right judgement.

  1. Ask the person

(This is my most dreaded recommended step.)

To be continued tomorrow.

Love and beauty,

B

Moving on as a family (from an almost family member.)

It is the first of 14 years that she is not anticipated to show – up. Although, that she did not join us in a yearly basis, at least we get to receive her message and we talked about her and receive her life’s updates around the table of dinner during family’s special occasions. On this event of my mother’s birthday and my parents’ wedding anniversary, it is the first time that it finally sunk deep to our hearts.

She is not a sister by blood but their 14 years of togetherness with my biological younger brother that started during their early part of university days made me feel, act and think like she is my sister. I and my family, have only been waiting for her to legally acquire my last name. I can go to a long list of how the entire family treated, anticipated and worked on for that day where she would be my sister-in-law and mother of future beautiful nieces and nephews. Until that she was not around during the Christmas season and my brother kept quiet of our inquiries…. Our concerned questioning.

Having my two other elder siblings married their first boyfriend and girlfriend, I am not used to parting ways of someone who has been attached to a family member.

I didn’t know that it is this… painful, too.

When the news broke then, I left her message telling her that she still has a sister in me and that I still am here to support her dreams.

Then, I felt the need to question my intention of reaching-out to her to check whether this intention is purely for her benefits or this is intention is tainted for me and my family only, and not even for my brother.

During this dinner of my parents’ wedding anniversary, my father asked about her to my brother. There was silence and someone said “Let’s move – on from her.. together, as a family.” There was even longer silence.

We definitely miss her and maybe it would take a while to stop looking for her and presence, but for now, I and my family need to step back. I need to stop trying to.. win her back to be future my sister-in law. I.. or…. we need to stop longing for her presence as our future in-law.

We need to let go of the label.. the label as future in law.

For now, we have to learn to value and cherish her as a person, as someone who has been part of our lives. She is someone who had done great things to someone we truly love, my younger brother. She was there during the family’s darkest time and her presence and support were truly felt by everyone.

And that alone is a reason to love her.. forever..without the label of future-in-law.

Knowing that reason made me think that she has been a family member ever since we started loving her, in spirit and in truth. She has been my sister all though-out that 14 years. That loving her does not necessarily mean that she becomes is a sister -in-law. If love is setting free then it means we are setting her free and we have to let the label of future – in law go. We would love to respect their decision where she would be happier, find true and lasting love even though it means she will be physically parting ways with us. Without asking for explanations.

For now, my family will move on, together from the label but never losing not the good memories we and our families have shared together.. once upon a time.
——–
Thank you, Lord, for people who once became closer to our family. God bless their hearts..physically far from us.. Amen.

Gentleness. Girl, It Looks Sassy On You.

It does not come naturally for some ladies to submit to a headship in a personal way specially for ladies who have learned for many years to look after and decide for themselves. It takes maturity and guidance of the Holy Spirit so as for a young wife to heed and follow what is said in Ephesians 5:21-23. It takes the patience of a man or a young husband for a lady or young wife to grow in holiness under the headship of a man who loves her. I also am reflecting on the respect to one another of a brother and sister serving together for the Lord in church activities.

Under His Headship (Please Bear With Her, Brother)

While respect to one another is needed to be learned and earned, a trait can lead in easier way and without going through unnecessary conflicts to a life of respect to another person, and, that trait is gentleness.

Gentleness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit. These days, people accepts “trash” talking and name-calling believing that one will be heard if they speak that way.

And that, my sister is a lie.

Trash-talking or name calling may catch attention and they may be heard but they will not be listened to. Gentleness creates soft invitation to be listened to and not just to be heard only. To be heard involves sense of hearing only. To be listened to is receiving sense of hearing and the rest of other senses including common sense and sense of humor. Yes, those two, too! Smile.

Girls, since they will take the role of a mother and is the creature more likely to express through words than men, should pray to learn gentleness and debunk rudeness in their spirits.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger ~ Proverbs 15:1

So, gentleness is an agent of peace.

And we girls clamor for world peace during beauty pageants, aren’t we? So, we should live a life of Gentleness.

Gentleness can transpire as early as infancy (No L.O.L. I heard my Mom saying that when I was a baby I never cried frantically. )
Gentleness just like any other traits can be learned from the inside out. Gentleness from within means gentleness to yourself, gentleness in your thoughts and this gentleness will come out constantly to your spoken words and visible actions.
Gentleness is a first degree cousin of compassion. It invites to be in actual shoes of another before forming conclusion on certain situations and people. Gentleness is using the the tone that will avoid provocation of people and thus, calls the help of humility. Gentleness is not timidity.
Gentleness is bearing mind that you need to send across words of loving guidance without putting down on people’s actions and thoughts.

And yes, girl, you are a Sister if the spirit of Gentleness is in you. It looks good on you, in fact.

Dear Father God,
Send forth your Holy Spirit and transform us making us agent of peace through Gentleness.
Amen.

Thank you for reading. God bless, Sisters. Please spread it.

Finding hope in this post?
Please scroll down. Please like and share. Thankies!

Lord, Lead Us Not To….Scammers

 

As someone who has been praying for a lifetime partner, I have experienced occasions of scam in the past and knowing friends who experienced the same.

Sadly, but, in the real world there are people who take advantage insincerely and ruthlessly evil of that holy desire of finding a spouse and raising a family. Most of the time, since they are left unidentified, they continue to hurt the lives of single and looking people not only emotionally but more often, financially.

I personally see scammers as cruel people. Since they don’t personally see the effects of what they have done to their victims, they can ignore outrightly the small voice of conscience in their spirits.

Quite scary for pure intention of loving and be loved by someone who loves you and loves you in return. But, like any other quests in our lives, there are dangers hiding along the way to victory.

The objective of this blog is not to add more “cheese” to that search but open our eyes and minds to the reality of the world where the future spouse also lives.

Here are few signs of this kind of scam:

1. He falls in love with you head over heels in no time.

I came to get in contact with a scammer through a Catholic dating site. He was quick in writing love letters that can sweep off my feet every night and can even quote of bible verses in professing his (scam) love for me.

2. His questioning or kind of getting to know you-ways are more of into interrogation of your financial capabilities.
Few of those questions are towards to:
A. Job position
B. Your travels
C. Your closeness with your family and friends

That person who was a scam kept on telling me that I don’t share with friends about my communication with him for his reason was that girl friends may get “jealous” of what we have. However, at that time, I was already actively serving and part of the Catholic Church community for singles and I trusted my prayer group leader so well that I shared with her even the first time that this person called me. So, by the time that this person was asking me for money, my prayer group leader had her suspicions confirmed.

3. I have experienced scam in two occasions and for both occasions, the perpetrators always fall into sickness.

Any lady who is blinded by his “unproven” love will be overpowered by her emotion to help financially even unreasonably.

4. Their love is conditional.

I have a friend who did not know that her helper was communicating with someone from the internet and she only got to know it when the helper frantically cried. The helper was told by her “lover” that he will send their engagement ring after the helper sends the money for the finishing touches of the house he was building for them and was provided with a link where the helper can track where the engagement ring is.

What was horrifying that the minute the helper completed the online and quick remittance, the link was gone.

5. His/ her details are not specific.

I told a friend who then has already started engaging online with a man who sent her a message through the Catholic dating site where my friend joined, to ask this man to provide her the company name and the reception number where this man works and that my friend will call that reception number to reach him. My friend was able to reach him which gave her a confidence to carry on the online conversation.

Though, my examples are experiences gained in the online dating world, these guides can also be applied in the face-to-face meet ups or dating.

As proven best practice, although, we may be dependent and mature by our own assessment, as searching singles, it is still best to include our parents or family members and a trusted friend in every step that we do in finding the lifetime partner.

As waiting and looking individuals, let us be like as wise as serpents and as gentle as doves. For surely, whoever has the pure intention with seeking heart for the right guidance, the Lord will lead.
——-
Prayers
It is in my prayers to whoever is reading this and is sincerely praying for a spouse that he/she finds him/ today without going through the harm caused by scams. Amen.

——-
For women who have additional tips which can help women in their online search, please comment below.

Finding hope in this post?
Please give a like and share.
Thank you and God bless.

There Is Life After Heartbreaks (Don’t Just Move-On, Rise From It, Sistha)

Ms Anonymous letter is my first letter from someone who is really anonymous to me. LOL. Yes, I know every single one in all my previous “Dear Sis B”. Dear Sis B, Why God seems to be unfair? What’s wrong with me? Ms Anonymous is like many of us, ladies, experiencing heartbreak upon heartbreaks. But…

Read More