It is the first of 14 years that she is not anticipated to show – up. Although, that she did not join us in a yearly basis, at least we get to receive her message and we talked about her and receive her life’s updates around the table of dinner during family’s special occasions. On this event of my mother’s birthday and my parents’ wedding anniversary, it is the first time that it finally sunk deep to our hearts.

She is not a sister by blood but their 14 years of togetherness with my biological younger brother that started during their early part of university days made me feel, act and think like she is my sister. I and my family, have only been waiting for her to legally acquire my last name. I can go to a long list of how the entire family treated, anticipated and worked on for that day where she would be my sister-in-law and mother of future beautiful nieces and nephews. Until that she was not around during the Christmas season and my brother kept quiet of our inquiries…. Our concerned questioning.

Having my two other elder siblings married their first boyfriend and girlfriend, I am not used to parting ways of someone who has been attached to a family member.

I didn’t know that it is this… painful, too.

When the news broke then, I left her message telling her that she still has a sister in me and that I still am here to support her dreams.

Then, I felt the need to question my intention of reaching-out to her to check whether this intention is purely for her benefits or this is intention is tainted for me and my family only, and not even for my brother.

During this dinner of my parents’ wedding anniversary, my father asked about her to my brother. There was silence and someone said “Let’s move – on from her.. together, as a family.” There was even longer silence.

We definitely miss her and maybe it would take a while to stop looking for her and presence, but for now, I and my family need to step back. I need to stop trying to.. win her back to be future my sister-in law. I.. or…. we need to stop longing for her presence as our future in-law.

We need to let go of the label.. the label as future in law.

For now, we have to learn to value and cherish her as a person, as someone who has been part of our lives. She is someone who had done great things to someone we truly love, my younger brother. She was there during the family’s darkest time and her presence and support were truly felt by everyone.

And that alone is a reason to love her.. forever..without the label of future-in-law.

Knowing that reason made me think that she has been a family member ever since we started loving her, in spirit and in truth. She has been my sister all though-out that 14 years. That loving her does not necessarily mean that she becomes is a sister -in-law. If love is setting free then it means we are setting her free and we have to let the label of future – in law go. We would love to respect their decision where she would be happier, find true and lasting love even though it means she will be physically parting ways with us. Without asking for explanations.

For now, my family will move on, together from the label but never losing not the good memories we and our families have shared together.. once upon a time.
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Thank you, Lord, for people who once became closer to our family. God bless their hearts..physically far from us.. Amen.

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And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly

Matthew 1:19

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Jesus, the Saviour, the Messiah was raised with this kind of man, a man who is just, righteous, considerate, compassionate, loving and protective.

I believe God continues to raise men like him, like Saint Joseph.

May you find someone like him today in your midst.

May you build someone like him today in your family.

May you recognise someone like him today.

May you choose someone like him today.

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Once again, thank you.

B.

must admit that in my long years with young praying adult singles, I can not anymore count using both hands how many times I have consoled a sister (lady) because she was not “chosen” by someone she liked and someone else was chosen and that someone else who was chosen happens to be someone she knows also. In a clearer picture,her girlfriend was chosen by someone she likes for herself.

I can console. I can comfort because I know how that feels.


I am no exception. Not once, but twice. Twice that I died to myself. I will give you a picture how it looked with the more heartbreaking moment.


I flew to International Conference for Singles and I’ve been hearing news about them but I had still had high hopes that it was just the regular sister and brother relationship. I’ve just arrived at the venue when I saw them together and they were both laughing. The moment I saw them… I grabbed the brother and exclaimed, “She looks like a forlorn puppy.”

Of course, that was not what happened. Lol.

The moment I saw them, I turned around, stopped and looked down. Heavens knew what I spoke within me, “Lord, naman. Wala pa akong tulog o. I flew here tapos yan ang bubungad nyo sa akin.” (Lord, I haven’t even slept yet. I flew here, then, You’d welcome me with this.) And I swear this happened afterwards, there was a sudden downpour of rain from skies.

They looked cute together. Not me and him. But her and him.

There are times that no matter how hard a sister avoided to fall-in love with her brother – friend, romantic feelings happen. Due to seemingly harmless circumstances, it happens, although to not all friends, but to some sisters and brothers. I don’t assign blame to any party, for in a loving community we take loving seriously. However, all the more we are in a loving community, lest, should we not be more careful on how we relate to one another?

Heeding the boundaries of every relationship that we establish is the supreme loving act for our loved-ones, for our friends.


LOVE WINS: BE THE BEST SISTER

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings occurred for one party only, be the best sister for him, let go of the romantic feelings and hopes as him and you as couple.

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings had took place for one party only, be the best sister for him.

Set your hopes higher to the Lord. He who is love Himself is the author and finisher of every true love story. Hope in the Lord. He will finish a love story for you.



When friendship hurts because romantic feelings had developed for one party only, be the best sister for him. Love him through your decent distance from him. Love is so powerful that we can love EVEN with a certain distance.

When friendship hurts because romantic feelings came into being for one party only, be the best sister for him. Empty yourself of envy. Envy has its own circle of relatives, they are resentment bitterness and jealousy. Be empty of all of those.


As loving friends just like Jesus to us, our loving friend, He died for us. We, too, must learn to die to ourselves, continue to be the best sister, continue to serve, continue to have faith, continue to choose Christ! This is sacrifice and that is love. And love always wins!

When we become the best sister for our “romantic” brother – friend, we are able to love, too…May be not romantically, but this time more deeply.



Dear Father God in Heaven, Lord,

During this time of loneliness of not being “chosen”, please help me NOT forget the people that You bless me with. Please help me not forget the You choose me. Always.

I look forward to that day when this hurting ends. I will make it sooner. Would you please embrace me? Help me. Thank you.

Mother Mary, please intercede for me.

Saint Josemaria Escriva, pray for us.

Amen.



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I would sweetly appreciate it. God bless!

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In my bible reading of the gospel according to Mark, I encountered this verse again. This time it spoke to me in a different way. It spoke to me about signs and our judgement, even in our romantic lives. I went back to a video of Nicole Kidman, one of my favourite actresses, when, she guested in The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon for the first time, sometime 3 years ago today.

I can’t help but picture it in my mind while Jimmy Fallon tells his version of the incident and Nicole does hers, too.

Here’s the link. You will certainly enjoy.

Jimmy Fallon Blew A Chance To Date Nicole Kidman

This is a story that creates different reactions from different type of singles.
For waiting singles, they will say “That’s a big near miss! Sayang”. For heartbroken singles, they will say “Men, they just do not see who are the one! Ugh”. For steady and ready-to-mingle singles, they will say “OK, let’s move on from here, next!”, without even asking themselves “Did I just had a T.O.T.G.A?

(T.O.T.G.A. = Teh, one that got away.) L.O.L.

This true story between Nicole and Jimmy never leaves my mind without me smiling… with relief.

When things are not falling into proper places and falling into places means falling at the right time, it only goes to show that the universe is helping to translate the situation that it is not meant for my good.

This thought was validated in this event with Jimmy and Nicole.

Here are my points:

First, I put the crucial point to Rick, the common friend. I must say that Rick did not deliver completely the task of a wing man. He did not tell Jimmy to order some nice foods and be at his best when him and Nicole arrive. He must have reasons for not doing so. That night might be not so romantic for him, that he did not see the the big picture of love happening between his well-known friends and doing great favours for them. He must have reasons.

Second, I agree of how Nicole assessed Jimmy’s wardrobe and look when they arrived at his apartment. If men are visual, all the more women are. The only difference is women can be  quiet about it and have the power to still consider giving a man a chance of being together who does not meet her physical standards but appeals to her higher needs like security or life’s purpose. But, at this time, Nicole felt that Jimmy’s wearing of cap is an absence of interest. To share a bit of my own story. The Lord knows how I assessed (a few) men in the past and even in  the present times, that men who meet me without even trying to look at his best, physically are not into me, simply, because they are not trying to impress me, not at all. Although, this is not the singular criteria of assessing whether a man is into a lady and vice-versa, a decent OOTD greatly matters for a first – time meeting between singles from opposite sex. That happened to Nicole for felling that way. She must have reasons.

Thirdly and most importantly, had Jimmy really liked Nicole and not just like having i-am-not-worthy-fan-admiration, he could have called Nicole and asked her number from Rick and call her with lines like “Oh, hi there. Thank you for your visit last night and I felt I missed to prepare you something great to eat, you know that kind of stuff. Err.. Would you like to have a dinner with me, sometime?” That’s not even 50 words including the shy-expressions! Why didn’t he call? He must have reasons.

OK, that first meeting might be tragic for Jimmy to prepare and be at his best. But, c’mon, man, ladies like Nicole can very well understand the situation that they’ve just walk-by without a prior notice so they can give this man a chance. Afterall, she liked him! But, Jimmy did not call and ask the universe to give him a chance to impress Nicole. Jimmy must have reasons for not doing so.

Or… the universe knew and whispered to Nicole as earlier at that time that few years down the road someone else is meant for her, who the universe will help to translate that he is the one for her and in the same way to Jimmy, too.

God is merciful. God sends signs so we will be aligned with him.

So, me and fellow waiting people whether single or married, waiting for a dream to transpire, be still and have faith.

When things are not falling into proper places, it is not yet time. When it is not yet time, be still and wait with anticipation for that time of favours to come.

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Thank you for reading.
May God be praised.

Love and beauty,
B.

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Dear Sis,

What are your skin care routines?

Thanks,

Sister

———————–

Today, I would like to share my passion of taking care of my skin and my joy each time I find a great beauty product. What I mean by a great beauty product is that it delivers its claims at a reasonable price.

(I have second thoughts of replying to this question for the fear that it will promote materialism. However, after thinking that there are a lot of beauty products within a very reasonable price and these companies create jobs, thus, I got convinced, otherwise.)

Instead of Buying Make-Up, I Invested On My Skin As Early As My Late Teen Years

I started taking care of my skin intentionally when I left the university and started earning my own. I didn’t have make – up products and only had baby powder but it has always been in my mind that a flawless skin is the base of nicely applied make-up, so, I decided to invest time and money for my facial skin, particularly.

  1. Toner/Cleansing Toner

I never went to bed without washing my face. (Maybe for few times that I missed to do it were because I was so tired and maybe even slept with my working clothes on.) After washing, I cleaned once again my face with cotton wetted of facial toner. But, Sister, be careful with toner as most of toners contain alcohol. Alcohol can make your skin dry and dry skin will make you look older aside from the fact it is prone to premature aging (fine wrinkles). So, observe the type of your skin. It has been my practice to use toners with alcohol content only when I have a pimple. Once, it get dried, I use the less “strong” toner. My usual toner is L’Oreal Whitening toner, but, these days, I’m using Ponds Toner.

It has always been my habit to check on the content of beauty products that I buy. (OK, Sister, I must admit that I can understand few of the content, having once worked for a consumer goods-manufacturing company as an Research and Development Chemist, but those contents are readily searchable in Google) Please do spend time to research.

  1. Moisturizer Is A Must At Night

I will never get caught sleeping without a moisturizer on. I applied Body Shop Vitamin E stick around my eyes and L’Oreal Revitalift during the night.

I started with my humble savings on AVON products. When I started earning, it is this time that I started buying L’Oreal moisturizer and Vitamin C serum from Body Shop. Applying moisturizer at night is like taking care of your skin without much ado. Just imagine all the vitamins and AHA being absorbed by your skin in straight 7-8 hours without intervention of pollution or sunrays in a regular basis. This is also the reason why most of the vitamin -rich beauty products are formulated for night application. Night time is for the time for the skin to regenerate. Sometimes, I don’t wash my face with soap in the morning and be contended with water only.

I just love how I see my skin in the morning and that encouraged me to continue on with the practice since then until now.

  1. Whitening Soap

There was a time that I use whitening soaps in a regular basis but I observed that it caused my skin to get dried. I know that most of this kind of products are for exfoliation, but, I was not happy seeing my skin get dried and peeling – off. Although, for right products selected for right type of skin and used properly under the recommended weather, the result after peeling – off is just wonderful!

Sister, as most of the whitening soaps contain acidic compounds, if you are using whitening soaps when you are bathing, please wash-off the soap from your skin after 2 minutes. Do not let it retain on your skin more than 2 minutes in an everyday practice.

  1. Moisturizer Cream In The Morning

Nowadays, I’m using L’Oreal Revitalift (the product come in two formulations) in the morning as it contains sunscreen. Using sunscreen can save you from color pigmentation, specially, if you are using products that cause whitening or exfoliation of your skin. Skin pigmentation can add years to your skin.

For the last 10 years, my main skincare products varied from Body Shop Vitamin C Serum, SK-II, CLINIQUE 1,2 and 3 and USANA Celevive. I recommend use of those products, too.

  1. Make – Up Remover

It’s only lately when I started applying full make – up and not even in a regular basis, that I started to have the need to get rid of make -up using a make -up remover before I wash my face with soap.

There are make -up products most specially the foundation that can’t be removed by water and soap.

Etude House has an oil-based facial cleanser that can get rid of make-up. I once used this product and was happy that it can be my make up remover and cleanser in one go. But, I did not use it a daily basis, only when I have make up on because I have an oily skin and using it often made my skin even oilier.

You see sister, after years of taking care of my skin, there is no single person in my previous and current office that can guess my age exactly. Their guesses were 12-15 years younger than my actual age. (Although, I’m also aware that they were being nice, too with their guesses.) Since then I let them guess and never confirmed my age.

It is true that when you love yourself, she will love you back.

May God give you joy while you take care of His gift to you, your skin, the largest part of your body, the body which is the temple of His Holy Spirit.

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The other day I published a blog about Pia.

What’s With Pía? #exesbaggage (Girl, Don’t Give Your Pearls Away)

IF YOU LIKE IT

Today, it’s time for her one of her lovers. Nix is the male lead character of the movie, Exes Baggage. Pia has 7 ex-boyfriends before Nix came to her life. While, Pia walked into Nix’s life after his girlfriend, Dwein.

What I like about Nix is … actually… I can’t think of anything aside from he can drive car well. (There were a lot of scenes that showed he was driving. Lol)

OK. Here is the serious part.

Nix is a guy I would not like for a caring and loving Pia, specially, at that point of his life when he met Pia. I really think Pia was right to believe that he is not yet completely over with his ex – girlfriend, Dwein. Unlike, Pia , whose reason of believing that Nix is still not over with Dwein is because of his seemingly intentionally delaying the project so he can get to hang-around Dwein’s presence. My reason of believing that Nix is not yet over with Dwein is he has not done yet anything to prove his sincere love for Pia. Him introducing Pia to his mom is not enough to convince me of this. (I know someone who has a cousin who brings different girl every family yearly reunion. She has been wanting to tell every girl that he brought “Hey, you are not the first one. We see different girl every year.”, to dispel any idea of the lady guest that something serious is going – on between her and her cousin. )

Nix did not even try to win her back. Something is holding him back when he seems to be liking the set – up of their togetherness?

I am with Pia when he left Nix. “You go, girl. Get his act together.”

Hello, Nix! If you truly love the girl, then, you should have put a ring on it.

 

 

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