Chronicles of Benia

STORIES.REFLECTIONS.PRAYERS

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I still think about him. He didn’t leave my mind since last Wednesday, the last time I saw him.

Woody, as we all know, is the cowboy rag doll and the leader of the toys in the movie “Toy Story”. He constantly saves his kid from any misfortune and time has come that his main purpose evolved to saving his fellow toys from getting lost.

Almost quarter of a century after I first saw Toy Story, now with wrinkles and a full pledge adult, I came to understand why Woody’s life is my own, too.

Toys come alive whenever their kid plays with them, holds them, spends their lives with them. It is how they are seen that brings life and purpose to them.

Isn’t it the same to me all throughout the 25 years of my life?

I got in the university after I was seen worthy of a full scholarship. I held and quitted jobs because of how I had been seen. I went to romantic dinner invites and the question that always came to mind, “Does this person see me?” I created relationships and celebrated those because they have seen me. I lost relationships and never dared to look-back because of how I was seen – not worthy of their time, not worthy of their fight and risk, not worthy of their best effort. Because I know, I am. I worth it.

But why do we strive to be seen by our value? Now, I have an answer.

When we are seen by our value, our flaws can be readily overlooked.

No one is perfect and in any given point of weak times, we can fail and commit mistakes, but, if our value is seen, we are understood. When we are understood, we are valued. Just like a century old jar crafted by a well-known artist, the value outshines the scratches and chips. It still is worthy of a high price. Its value is rooted on its maker.

We all strive, we all long, we all hope and pray to be seen by our value. Because we are created with a value. And every finite detail of our being speaks of how we are gloriously created.

I still think about him. He didn’t leave my mind since last Wednesday, the last time I saw him. Because, finally, I have understood the value of being seen.
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May you be seen by your value. May you never forget your value. Because you are valuable. Because you are bought with a price. Because you are worth it. Because you are crafted, shaped and seen after the image and likeness of the great Creator.

#SecondChances

19/07/2019

Dear Sis B,
How to reject a nice suitor without him getting hurt and discouraged?

Love,

Sis Black Pink

_____

Dear Sis Black Pink,

May the peace of Christ be with you.

I must be honest that I have been staring at the photo of Saint Josemaria Escriva, the Saint of ordinary life and founder of Opus Dei and praying that he intercedes for me because I find your predicament no ordinary. This is the kind of problem only known to the sweet, charming and unassuming Godesses, like me.

Of course. No one can contest when a mother “indoctrinated” her daughter how beautiful she is. LOL.

Seriously speaking I would like to take note and sends you honor for wanting to hear ways of rejecting a nice guy nicely. Perhaps, the difficulty of rejecting him comes from that fact you find this guy nice and nice guys are rewarded with nice attention. I have three big concepts for you.

One, nice guys just like any one of us deserves to know the truth.

It is not the truth that hurts but false hopes and lies do.

Two, if you only find him nice but not attractive enough, maybe it’s time to check and reflect on the non-negotiable qualities you are looking for a lifetime marriage partner. I am not saying that you date a non-good-looking guy but what I am saying is that you LOOK CLOSELY on that nice guy’s physical look and discover what will attract you. I am not forcing you to be attracted to him but I am encouraging you to give this nice guy a second look. Most of the time, nice guys gain a certain degree of handsomeness using a pair of “wise” eyes.

Should you find him not suitable for you after a thorough thinking and sincere praying that led to your decision to reject him, then ask him to meet you. Say your available timings and let him choose his prefered time out from the options that you have provided. Let him know right away that this meeting will be quick and not easy for you to do. If you have been going out, I am sure you have noted how he usually does things so apply those in this meeting.

Three, please look this “announcement” as his liberation so you will also be freed from any guilt or sadness that this “announcement” would possibly caused him. Tell him words from your heart but refined by your mind. Here is a suggestion used by a sister previously and it worked for the brother to remain positive in his search and even more passionate in serving God.

“We have been spending time together and I truly enjoyed that time. I deeply appreciate your efforts and prayers for me. Thank you. But after reflecting on what is in my heart and how I see our communication, I think we better stop spending our time exclusively. Please stop courting and I want you to search and find that special girl who truly is meant for you and you can only do that if you would stop communicating with me, at least for awhile. Let’s also stop our frequent and nightly calls.”

If he asks you a question, then, just answer truthfully and gently.

There will be awkward silence, but I’m telling you to bear the awkward silence rather than giving him extended false hopes.

I will pray for you and may you be found by the one who is the longing of your heart and answer to your prayers.

Love and Beauty,
B

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Thank you for reading.

Please share your tips and thoughts on rejecting a suitor!

25/01/2019

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And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to send her away quietly

Matthew 1:19

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Jesus, the Saviour, the Messiah was raised with this kind of man, a man who is just, righteous, considerate, compassionate, loving and protective.

I believe God continues to raise men like him, like Saint Joseph.

May you find someone like him today in your midst.

May you build someone like him today in your family.

May you recognise someone like him today.

May you choose someone like him today.

———

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Once again, thank you.

B.

14/11/2018

1. May you find someone worth keeping and may you find that someone keeping you back.
2. May your eyes be opened to the truth and believe that truth will set you free.
3. May you find someone who recognises your light and takes care of your scar.
4. May you find true friends who can speak word of truth to you and can determine the time when to speak it.
5. May you find time to take care of yourself.
6. May you find reasons to protect yourself.
7. May you find ways to celebrate your giftedness.
8. May you draw your standards and create an invisible but felt line around it.
9. May you be drawn deeply into the image of the lady our Creator has planned for you.
10. May you find a lady smiling back at you when you look at the mirror.

All these I pray in the mighty name of Your son Jesus who lives with You together with the Holy Spirit. One God. Forever.

Hail Mary..

Saint Josemaria Escriva, pray for us.

Amen.

13/11/2018

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