Dear Ate B (Sister Asked; Benia Replies)

Dear Sister B, I Am Friend Zoned. (You Are Not Alone. LOL.)

20785800_676411262547848_2804530907847655380_oDear Sister, 

First of all, thank you for allowing me to make your question my first  “Dear Sister B Letter” here.
Sister, of all questions why that question? Why loh ? 😅 All through – out the many years of my membership in SFC (Singles for Christ) here in Singapore, brothers approached me to be their prayer warrior, their “bridge” to another sister or to seek advice how to court this certain girl. Although I have never complained, I feel I’m the forever sister-zoned lady in Singles for Christ 😉

However, I will try my very best to answer your question.

 

Hugs sister. Fret not but rejoice! You are his in his friend – zone  and not in the enemy-zone! 🙂 Allelujah! Praise the Lord! Well Sistha, you are in the best position to know him and you to show the true goodness in you. Take this friend-zone as stepping stone closest to his heart, friendship is the backbone of great marriages, anyway, as according to Pope Francis, too!

First of all, prayerfully reveal to the Lord your growing fondness to your friend, talk to Jesus as if He has never EVER seen you blush whenever you see this guy friend – friend zoning you. Secondly, burahin mo sa isip mo that this friend-zone is an enemy of your romantic feelings for this brother (guy). Thirdly, never allow him to call you “Ate”. When you hear him calls you “Ate” even when he is 10 years younger than you, PLEASE STOP him with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your strength (lol) It’s like the first commandment.  🤗 How do you do this? Just tell him off with the sisterly gentleness. “Please do not call me, Ate. I’m OK you calling me by my name alone.” But on the other hand Sister, I have remembered pala nga, once there was a brother who told me “I will not call you, Ate.” I took that sign that he really wanted to know me well, including my hobbies and favorites, that he wanted more than friendship and with that at least tinge of  romantic things (you know that thang). So stopping him from calling you “Ate” is not a guarantee that he will see you in a different light instantly. Just a precaution.

I have been staring at the screen of my PC for half an hour and I can only think of one thing to make your “plight” your advantage and that is you allow him to be who he really is whenever you are together. He is safe with you! While you keep your eyes open, discern if this brother is someone you truly like or someone who can really be him! Be the best friend for him. It means staying who you really are, keeping your schedule and programs and not compromising your time to be with other friends just to be with him, keeping your values and guarding your heart. READ MY LIPS SISTER “Guard your heart”
What do I mean by guarding your heart? It is by NOT allowing your heart to form conclusions at the advantage of your feelings. Example, he introduced you to his mom as “Friend” but you concluded and starting to HOPE, that there is something romantic going-on. Guarding your heart is opening your eyes to ALL the things going around him. I used to say my own “Prayer of Shield”, so write one for yourself. Guarding your heart is keeping your eyes open to the real world, do not drawn into your imaginary romantic world where the national anthem is “On My Own” ( lol. I hope I  am not so harsh.)

My ultimate tip is to keep your prayers going! Know that the Lord sees everything so keep asking Him. If this friend is good for you to be your future husband, then let the friendship grow BY growing the feelings of the guy for you STEADILY and strongly more than yours to him. I always believed that sisters are made to respond and we are far better in responding than initiating.  I believe also that if your prayers are sincere to seek His leading, the Lord will create ways so your feelings toward your friend will melt and will leave your heart and mind if he is not the suitable lifetime partner for you. In the same way, if he is a suitable lifetime partner for you, the Lord will open doors so you can create magical moments together where feelings and convictions will grow.

 

And my last tip to guard your heart is tell this feeling to a sister – friend who can speak truth to you ( you know what I meant.)

Love is not for the faint-hearted so allow yourself to grow to be a mature healthy adult while all these things are happening.

I will keep you in my prayers. I am just a message away.

God bless you. I hope I brought smile in your lips.

Love and beauty,
Princess Benia
#dearbenia

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