Dear Sis B, What Are My Deepest What-Ifs? (Addressing Younger Generation of Women)

Dear Sis B, What Are My Deepest What-Ifs? (Addressing Younger Generation of Women)

At this time of my life where I am on my fourth decade of my existence, (Thank you Lord )I have accumulated few of greatest what-ifs. It is my hope that I can send accross an encouragement to think on your decisions today. Because every decision deserve a good thinking – through because what has been missed would stay a missed opportunity.

1. What if I sticked to my first romantic relationship?
I may be married by now but certainly I would not bloom and be able to serve in the church and dedicate my freedom to it, which I feel is one of the greatest gifts a person can experience, serving wholeheartedly a fellow.

2. What if I pursued my dream to be a cardiologist despite the disapproval of my father due to lack of funds then?

Would you believe that there are still days that I thought on this? I used to write my name Benia Densing M.D. Cardiologist in all the front page of my high school notebooks.
I guess that’s why time and again I asked for the spiritual gift of healing, I may not be a Cardiologist but spiritually, I am an avenue of healing. (By God’s grace)

3. What if I stayed in the Phillipines and did not accept the job opportunity in Singapore?

I might be married by now, I guess, but certainly, I would not be able to experience and establish my own independence, plus, definitely the financial blessings I received that came with that decision.

4. What if I did not accept the service as Chapter leader in Singles for Christ and stayed in teaching and formation only?

Time and again I encourage sister to take the role of a leader with a brother partner. This is because, I came to know that there is an essential degree of maturity gained in the way a lady speak, act and reflect when she serves with a man/brother.

If I did not accept that service role, maybe, just maybe, I would have stayed a pure lioness who always growls and never have seen the meaning of the calling of a woman designed by the Lord. That is to be a helpmate, a corrector and at the same time the source of affection and care. (Am I right, sisters? )

5. What if TOTGA ( the one that got away) did not become a TOTGA?

I initially thought that I have a TOTGA but after recalling, I can say don’t that I don’t have one. For me when a person did her best to that relationship, staying sacrificing, committed and truthful to who she/he really is, then, that person would be the TOTGA.
It is one of my deepest prayers that I will never have a TOTGA, that the Lord would shake heavens and earth so for me to realize that this person whether for friendship and spouse is the person is for me to keep and choose for lifetime.


Dear Lord, Father God in heaven, when the agony of “What-Ifs” strike us please remind us about your tool which is called time. That there is time for everything, a season for every activity under the heavens. Please help us to move on and learn from our dragging “What-Ifs” so we can start anew. Amen.