Dear Ate B (Sister Asked; Benia Replies)

Dear Sis, Going To Mass On A Date, How Should I Look? Part 3

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Dear Sister,

May the peace of Christ be with you.

Since you have been seeing this man, I trust that you found essentials qualities in this man worthy to be considered for marriage.

How should we look at the outside should be as good as how we look in the inside. We are going to Mass whose God is the God of both the outside and the inside. Since you have been seeing this man, I conclude that you are desiring a vocation in marriage. The purpose of dating is creating a solid platform joyfully with mutual agreement for marriage.

I believe how should you look during the mass with this man is the look of a woman ready or preparing to be a wife (to a man worthy of her love). What kind of wife should we be? I reflected on Proverbs 31 and here what came to my heart:

  • She is trustworthy.
  • She is a good steward of resources.
  • She is a blessing.
  • She uses her talents and produces fruits out of it.
  • She takes time to plan meals on the table.
  • She reflects on how to generate income.
  • She is strong and healthy.
  • She plans ahead on what will be needed.
  • She has no idle time.
  • She is compassionate.
  • She does not forget to take care of herself.
  • She takes delights on what she has accomplished.
  • She is wise and kind and it is evident through her communication.
  • She reflects on things that will bring benefits to her household.
  • She fears the Lord.

    Those are big and holy concepts of a wife, I must admit. For singles like us who are praying for marriage, we may not yet be that version of a woman, or, partly we already are, but let’s place our hearts to desire that kind of image, then pray and work on becoming one while we still are singles.

I would like also to share a bible verse to you that convicted my heart when I kept coming to mass but my heart was filled with hatred to a man.

Matthew 5:24 Revised Standard Version Catholic Edition (RSVCE)

24 leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

I went to confession first to attain peace within me. I continued going to mass while I prayed for perfect timing for a personal dialogue with the man. Hatred is like an acid says Rev Father Orbos and that acid can ruin your heart. That acid in one’s heart can be manifested through words and actions. Wear the look of a heart that is free from hatred. (I had reconciliation with that man and maintain a friendship.)

I wanted to end this letter here, but I felt you need to hear thoughts from a wife who actually dated a non-catholic man, but converted to Catholicism afterwards. I promise I will post it here.

For now, let me offer a prayer to you and for the rest of ladies who are dating non-Catholic men.

Dearest Father in Heaven,

Thank you placing a desire in our hearts to build a family according to Your will. Guide us to be your homemakers. May we not be blinded by the idea of “in love” but remain faithful to the true meaning of love, the kind of love that You exhibited for us.

I pray, Father in Heaven, that you keep us firm to flee from temptations and keep this dating period pure and pleasing to your eyes. We are weak in nature and prone to walk-away from Your light but we believe Your hands are bigger and able keep our hands tightly held with Yours.

O Holy Spirit, please be with us.

My dear Holy Mother Mary, please continue to intercede for us.

May we be found by men who are after Your heart, too.

Amen.

———————

Love and Beauty,

Benia

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