Dear Sister B,
I really want to settle down and have been looking around. But I can’t find someone for me. Please help.
May the peace of Christ be with you.
As to most men I know are men of few words, I will try my best to keep this letter straight and few- worded.
Brother, the problem I think is that you are overwhelmed with the many ladies that you have come to know during your extensive search. I have unpleasant disposition for men who go on search and they don’t have in their minds and hearts what they really want. Because in this kind of occasion where ghosting (paasa) and slow fade (intro boys = all introduction and no follow – ups) happen and both, brother, are causes of heartbreak to sisters. Something I believe hurt brothers, too. Every sister has her own share of the fault, too, why these cases happen. And I know this is not the Lord’s will to cause heartbreak upon heartbreaks to both parties.
I don’t exactly know why you have to ask me on this but I’m guessing you are asking me because you want to hear a big sister’s words so I have big sister words for you – Exercise your free will. Choose. Just choose either you stop your search (meeting women over casual dinner or coffee) at the meantime or decide on the sister that you are going to pursue. Either way the Lord will honor you for using that gift.
To momentarily stop your search is to gather your wits. Bro, pop the question ‘What do I really want?” to yourself and ask the Lord’ s guidance again to reveal it to you. And reveal it to you powerfully!
I asked a brother – married friend on how he confirmed that his wife is the lady that he must pursue. This was his reply:
“I have always wanted a lady who is kind, who I would be scared to lose, who would make me scared to look to other girls.
I got a clear message from the Lord that to choose where my heart, my mind and my feelings are happy. When I heard it, the aura of my wife came to my mind. ”
(She was his badminton playmate and serves with him in the community where they both belong.- Sis B)
Brother, what struck me with my brother – friend’s answer was his choice is not based on his wife’s qualities and characters but the Lord was instructing him to choose in reference to his heart and mind.
This is what his wife told me:
“Brothers should know that there will be sisters who will come along who are more religious, sweeter, prettier, nicer and a lot more. So, stand firm on your decision.”
As my last words for you Bro, when we ask the Lord to lead us in our decision-making and we obey Him, trust that the Lord will bless that decision… in a way we have never imagined. He is the way, the truth and the life. Go back to Him on bended knees.
I will keep you in my prayers, brother.
God bless with love and beauty,
PS. You need to stop wasting time on women you don’t like because you are spending time that’s meant for your future spouse. Fight for her over your fear, confusion and distraction. Even right at this time.