Dear Sis B,
Why God seems to be unfair? What is wrong with me? I grew up without a father. My boyfriend of 5 years just left me without explanation. My second boyfriend who proposed to me backed – out and got hitched with his friend. Is this the price that I have to pay all my life? Why can’t I find happiness in my life?
Dear Ms Anonymous,
May the peace of Christ be with you.
I usually tell my sisters during 1-to-1 talks that heartbreaks are part of becoming to be a mature person but I can feel deep sadness in your letter. I will try my best to only write comforting words but at the same time lead you to the place where your longing for true happiness can end.
Sister, remember no human being has never ever experienced misery. Since we are living in a fallen world, every one of us will experience suffering before we pass on to the next journey of life going back to our Creator. Since we are living in a fallen world, every single one of us will commit mistake.
If your father and your two boyfriends left you, do not bring curse to yourself for it. I’ve heard many ladies and even I, myself, included, regretted few things they’ve done or said that may have caused for their men to fall – out of love. You can regret and process through what went wrong then move –on. But, that stage of completely moving –on would never come if you would not forgive first. And that forgiveness goes to the very first person that needed it most – YOU.
Forgive yourself first.
Maybe, forgive yourself for not protecting your heart. Maybe, forgive yourself for not valuing yourself. Maybe, forgive yourself for being so jealous. Maybe, forgive yourself for not honoring your body. Maybe, forgive yourself for not valuing the voice within you. Maybe, forgive yourself for not recognizing your weakness and vulnerabilities. Maybe, forgive yourself for not loving you.
Forgive you because that you is the first person who will be your most loyal and staunchest ally to your true and lasting change, to your moving – on.
Forgive you. After that, the grace to forgive God and your earthly father will come naturally.
Your ex-boyfriends may not ask forgiveness but forgiveness is a gift to yourself, so forgive them anyway. Along the way of your journey.
Before I end, I would like to share a bit of my story. It was December 2002, I was going to a Christmas dinner with Singles for Christ – friends and I was so glamed – up but my heart felt so heavy. I decided to drop by at the Our Lady of Penafrancia Church before heading to the venue, to talk to God for my unidentified heaviness of heart. I’ve just signed myself with cross when I felt a soft air against my cheeks. I heard it in my heart ,“I am sorry. I am sorry on his behalf.” I felt that the Lord was saying sorry over a betrayal that happened two years earlier. I was not thinking of that betrayal anymore. I thought I had buried it. I cried instantly in my prayers saying “I forgive him, Lord.” That encounter with God was my turning point of my complete freedom and peace of mind.
Seek the Lord and all these things shall be added unto you, including the happiness that you are longing, Sister.
You asked if heartbreaks are the price you have to pay for all your life. No, Sister, you don’t need to pay. Your heartbreaks are not a payment. Someone has paid for it, two thousand years ago, He paid it at the cross with His life. And He loves you so much.
I will keep you in my prayers. Hugs tight. And keep fighting.
Love and Beauty,
Benia (With Tears)
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