Dear Sis B,
How to reject a nice suitor without him getting hurt and discouraged?
Sis Black Pink
Dear Sis Black Pink,
May the peace of Christ be with you.
I must be honest that I have been staring at the photo of Saint Josemaria Escriva, the Saint of ordinary life and founder of Opus Dei and praying that he intercedes for me because I find your predicament no ordinary. This is the kind of problem only known to the sweet, charming and unassuming Godesses, like me.
Of course. No one can contest when a mother “indoctrinated” her daughter how beautiful she is. LOL.
Seriously speaking I would like to take note and sends you honor for wanting to hear ways of rejecting a nice guy nicely. Perhaps, the difficulty of rejecting him comes from that fact you find this guy nice and nice guys are rewarded with nice attention. I have three big concepts for you.
One, nice guys just like any one of us deserves to know the truth.
It is not the truth that hurts but false hopes and lies do.
Two, if you only find him nice but not attractive enough, maybe it’s time to check and reflect on the non-negotiable qualities you are looking for a lifetime marriage partner. I am not saying that you date a non-good-looking guy but what I am saying is that you LOOK CLOSELY on that nice guy’s physical look and discover what will attract you. I am not forcing you to be attracted to him but I am encouraging you to give this nice guy a second look. Most of the time, nice guys gain a certain degree of handsomeness using a pair of “wise” eyes.
Should you find him not suitable for you after a thorough thinking and sincere praying that led to your decision to reject him, then ask him to meet you. Say your available timings and let him choose his prefered time out from the options that you have provided. Let him know right away that this meeting will be quick and not easy for you to do. If you have been going out, I am sure you have noted how he usually does things so apply those in this meeting.
Three, please look this “announcement” as his liberation so you will also be freed from any guilt or sadness that this “announcement” would possibly caused him. Tell him words from your heart but refined by your mind. Here is a suggestion used by a sister previously and it worked for the brother to remain positive in his search and even more passionate in serving God.
“We have been spending time together and I truly enjoyed that time. I deeply appreciate your efforts and prayers for me. Thank you. But after reflecting on what is in my heart and how I see our communication, I think we better stop spending our time exclusively. Please stop courting and I want you to search and find that special girl who truly is meant for you and you can only do that if you would stop communicating with me, at least for awhile. Let’s also stop our frequent and nightly calls.”
If he asks you a question, then, just answer truthfully and gently.
There will be awkward silence, but I’m telling you to bear the awkward silence rather than giving him extended false hopes.
I will pray for you and may you be found by the one who is the longing of your heart and answer to your prayers.
Love and Beauty,
Thank you for reading.
Please share your tips and thoughts on rejecting a suitor!