Chronicles of Benia

STORIES.REFLECTIONS.PRAYERS

Last year of this month, I witnessed the coffee shop near to my workplace closed down after 40 years in operation. As their way of expressing gratitude, the owner offered discounted food items on the last day and people pasted farewell sticky notes. Here in Singapore, the local coffee business is quite huge and each has it’s own loyal customers.

It was sad, but, heartwarming, too.

It never dawned on me that closures can be good and that closures are also necessary, it is most specially for relationships, not until my favorite office coffee shop closed their business.

On the month of November, I looked back how the Lord granted my prayers to find a closure to someone I truly love. Someone I will endlesy love.

I was working on a night shift when I thought I have done what I had to do and thought it was OK to take a nap. So, I placed my pink chair pillow on the table and placed my head on it. I was all ready for a power nap. I checked the time, clock said it was 2:50 am. After a while I heard somone approaching. I hid my pillow and stretched my bent body then seated straight. I was supposed to be alone that night shift but my boss had the habit of staying until 4am of the following day whenever we had audits. My boss office room was at ground floor while mine was at second floor. Prepared to see my boss, I was all ready to smile. But, a man in white shirt came. He was not my boss but he was someone so familiar. He looked like me and there was so much resemblance to my father.

He was smiling and I smiled back. I finally said, “I knew it, Kuya (elder brother). Your son is right when he said you didn’t die.” He continued to smile outside the door of the office and I was just sitting on my chair. He was about 2 arms away from me. Suddenly, I saw the mirror for our office halls and realized that he does not have a reflection. There, I realised that time was coming to an end. I gently said, “I love you Kuya. Sorry for not being there when it all happened. Please take care.” I rose to my chair and wanted to hug him when I heard an alarm. I stopped from taking steps and heard an engine of a motorbike started while my phone alarm continued to ring. I started to panick and remembered clearly well that my Kuya was saying goodbye too. There were no words but my mind can interpret. The sound of the engine was getting louder and so was my phone alarm.

My eyes saw it was 4:00 am. I saw that my chair pillow was still on top of my table and my head resting on it while still sitting on the chair. I was dreaming.

I started to cry.

Finally, I got a closure, two years after he left. Ironically, there was so much joy in my heart. The void has been filled. That joy brought me to call my mama, we are all ready for new beginnings.

When closures transpire, a new beginning is set to take place.

08/12/2019

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