May the peace of Christ be with you.
I personally do not see anything wrong for a straight lady to fall in-love for gays. They still not only possess physical features and heart of men, but more importantly, they usually are hardworking, honest, creative, expressive and thoughtful, that any lady in her rightful mind would fall for qualities such as those.
But I can feel your frustration over repeated circumstances. But be not and rejoice because at an early stage you get to be aware of a repetition in your life. (You see, awareness is the first step to a lasting change.)
Gays have same value like straight men and having same value they worth your fight for true love.
I haven’t yet experienced (as far as I know) dated a gay but I do believe we can always count on to use our discernment how we handle relationships with straight men the same with gays.
If you want to avoid falling for gays, I guess this is the point where we need to examine our hearts. Gays when decided to change his lifestyle can change his lifestyle. They have the will and spirit of men, after all. (We can freely change our outside looks nowadays but the spirit that Our Creator, God, has breathe on us when we were formed in the womb will never change.) Remember that they still have the strength, number of bones and heart of a man. So with that in my mind, gays when married to women can create Christian families. Gays when married to a supportive and God – fearing wife can be the best man in the eyes of the Lord. (I would declare those on the mountaintops with great conviction with a red lipsticks on ❤️.)
All these are possible only after one big decision and that is the decision of the gay person to be the committed head of the family in the eyes of the Lord and in the eyes of people.
After asking few men and discerning on my own, I thought as a straight woman falling for gay who did not initially expose himself to be gay, is not our main question. It is not our utmost concern to ask him if he is gay or not. If he confess to you, it is God’s leading. It is between him and God. Mainly. Who can deceive God?
The same heart that we are falling for is that same heart that we are questioning? Our concern should be “Is this man decided to be the head of the family that I want to co-raise in the eyes of the Lord?”
If he is not, then with all your heart, with all your strength and wits then prayerfully cut the growing romantic feelings for him. Otherwise, you would bear unnecessary heavy pains that might not be for you to bear.
I will pray for you, Sister. God is good, He is honored each time we pray for the marriage that He wants for us. I hope one day you would write back to me that you have been found by The One you are made for by the Lord.
Love and Beauty,