I am writing from a bus, to a long journey to home. To say this an expected travel, is an understatement, it is an unwanted travel. This is how it happened; I am one bus stop away from home and has already walked around more 2km when I felt that my right shoe’s sole was peeling – off. Fearing that I might end up walking shoeless, with only one bus stop away from home that has a distance around 150 meters, I decided to take a bus, Bus 518, which I know stops at the bus stop downstairs at my flat. To my horror, the moment the bus door closed, it turns to a different direction and not to the direction where my flat is and whisked towards the freeway. The driver told me that it was an express bus going to the city, around 62 km away from home! But courageously, instead of getting furious I forced my inner self to just enjoy this “ride”. I alighted at the city area and traveled back to home calmly. I lost time to sleep and less than $5 for the fare.
Unwanted Travels In Singleness
As a single person for many years, I, too, had been to “unwanted travels” in real life but choose the higher road of learning from those kinds of occasions. Some of the “unwanted travels” I had are dating a guy whose beliefs are different from mine and fooled myself that I can change his set of beliefs, of acting not hurt but deep within was breaking apart, of concealing my faith to someone who does not believe my faith. Those I considered are “unwanted travels” because I don’t want to experience it again. N-E-V-E-R A-G-A-I-N.
Instead of wallowing to frustrations, I prayed for God’s mercy so I can remain objective and with all my heart tried to learn from those the hard way and be freed from any bitterness.
Here are my guiding marks to identify a gentleman who is a God’s gift, lessons drawn from my unwanted travels, of my hope and risks of being found by The One.
1.Does he love your soul?
Our journey here in earth is completed when our body dies but our souls will continue to journey. Does this man will lead you to win life eternal? Does he care not just about your career, your health but above all love your soul deeply that he shares accountability to where you are going after life?
2. Does he honor you?
Of all married couples that I have seen and talked to in a meaningful way, husbands have something in common; they deeply honor their wife’s achievements, her time, her words and her name. This particular characteristic makes sense to be the mark of Godly man, he honors woman. Physically, women are the weaker gender and women are more tender-hearted creature than men, so these to me, mean women are prone to be dissuaded through both force and emotions by men. But, men who let the Lord rule His life, will also be ruled by justice and love and shall honor a woman’s feelings, weakness, strength and all things that make of who she really is. On a hindsight, I also realized
that women are called to be wise as serpent but gentle as dove, so as not to get under the rule of evil manipulation by any man through her emotions and strength, whether intentionally or not.
3. Does your communication with this guy grow deeper in a consistently manner?
During my long years in serving singles while I am single myself, I have realized that a person who complements another’s personality will be drawn more deeply to that person and that’s why consistency of occasion to communicate or connect happens. I have no better words for people who keep on connecting to another person, through phone calls or meet-ups only to say “This is nothing. We are just both free.” Either one or if not both parties are denying the fact that there is a connection. Consistent connection does not just happen. Either parties or one party is creating a way to create a growing connection happens by a mindful and series decisions to remain the healthy communication.
4.Does he act and make you feel that you are enough?
More than he is making you happy, does he make you feel that you are enough to make him happy, to make him driven, to make him inspired, to make him commit. If love is different from important and so is important different that you are enough.
While, I identified each of those marking questions, it brings me to another lesson from my “unwanted travels”. These “unwanted travels” would only make sense if I take note of the signs, I gain wisdom if I take note and put it to life. As hearers and doers, we are building a house upon a rock, as Jesus said. (Matthew 7: 24 –27)
Every one then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house upon the rock; 25 and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat upon that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And every one who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house upon the sand; 27 and the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell; and great was the fall of it.”Matthew 7: 2 4 – 27 RSVCE
These “unwanted travels” can be ways to unwrap a God’s gift and thus, can lead us to the travel to meeting God’s gift, our The One.
Thank you for sharing your time with me.
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Love and Beauty,